Boy, Do I Feel Stupid

 I’ve always hated using the word stupid. It isn’t the type of word that rolls off your tongue unless you’re in a fight with your sibling, spouse or a guy in a bar that you know you could take. But it’s the way I feel and I can’t find a more appropriate term.

I told you all last week about taking Jean to the wrong airport. I can make all the excuses in the world, and who would think that, when you buy a ticket from Orlando, the plane wouldn’t take off from Orlando. But the receipt showed that the plane would depart from SFB and arrive in LAN. I lived in Orlando for two years during the “Big War” and I knew that the airport at that time was at McCoy Air Force Base. After all, I was in the Air Force and I should know these things. The letters for Orlando International Airport are MCO.

I took Jean back to the Sanford-Orlando Airport in Sanford, about fifteen miles on the other side of Orlando on Thursday. From door to door it was a 231 mile round trip and had to include about $8.00 in tolls. That coupled with the same trip on Monday when we missed the plane and she could have flown first class from Tampa for the same total cost as the “bargain” ticket from Sanford. Dumb!

If that wasn’t enough, Jean told me on Monday morning that we had no hot water. When I left last spring, I went through a page of instructions to close the place up for the summer. For the hot water heater, I turned the breaker off so there would be no power. The instructions for the fall (developed by people from Hastings who have been coming down here for years) said to turn the water on, but don’t turn on the breaker to the water heater until it had a chance to fill. Otherwise the heating element would burn out.

When we got here on Sunday, the first thing I did was turn the water on. We unpacked quickly and went to Mom’s for dinner. After we ate, we came back over and started opening up the mobe. It was then that I turned on the breaker to the water heater.

So when Jean said we had no hot water, I didn’t know what to do. I flipped the breaker a couple of times and waited. Still no hot water. In mobes, the water heater usually sits in a cubbyhole with an outside door cover. I took that cover off, took off the cover to the electrical panel and checked the reset button. It didn’t look like it had tripped but I pressed it anyway and waited. Still no hot water.

Brother Bob (aka Bobbie Butane) came over and we hooked up a hose to the drain and flushed out some of the water. Some sediment came out but that’s not unusual. I had turned off the breaker when we did that, so Bob and I went in and turned the breaker back on and waited. Still no hot water.

At that point I was out of options so I called CoolQuest. The guy came at around 5 PM. The first thing he did was check the wires for power and there was none. He asked if there was a switch and I told him I didn’t know of any. I took him in to the breaker box in the master bedroom. There on the wall was a switch that said “TANK”. It was in the off position so I turned it on. We walked outside and we could hear the water heater heating up. As I wrote the check for a $39.95 service call I really felt “stupid”. The story is already coursing through Central Florida and the Upper Midwest. Jay Leno ought to have a ball with that one.

I’ve been out on a couple of bike rides and it really feels good to be on the road again. I rode the Suncoast yesterday on a 21 mile loop. About five miles into the ride I saw a group of large birds ahead walking on the bike path. As I got closer I realized they were Peacocks. There were three males in some of the most brilliant blue plumage I have ever seen.

They were strutting around and fanning out trying to impress four hens. I’m not up on my field biology so I don’t know whether the best strutter would get all the females or the “bonus” one. It just doesn’t seem right that male Peacocks can win over more than one female and most men can’t handle the one woman they already have, and I use the term “handle” in the most sensitive and respectful of ways.

Just (Ran Alone This Morning And I Don’t Like It) Jack

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