Monthly Archives: September 2005

Mental Lapse

 A little while age Ernie and Barb Strong, friends of mine, sent me a copy of the classic story where Cliff, a know-it-all barfly in the TV show Cheers, is telling Norm, an overweight accountant (sound familiar) barfly, about his theory of survival of the fittest.

“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But, naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

Well, apparently I haven’t had enough beer in my life, although some would disagree with that statement, and at 10:02AM Monday, local time, I signed up for Ironman Wisconsin 2006. In my defense, so did Jean, Larry Etter, Libby Jennings, Ruth Bareman and George Pravda (Libby, Ruth and George are friends from GR and Holland that we met at triathlons) along with 1,994 other people. Yeah, yeah. I Know. The old saying, “If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?” makes that not a good excuse.

I’m not a long distance triathlete, and I’m only a mediocre short distance triathlete, but I’m looking at it as a way to force me to lose the 15 pounds I put on after Ironman Wisconsin 2004 and my health problems this summer. I can’t do the race on that hilly course without getting lighter. That’s not the real reason for trimming down. With a family history of diabetes, and my blood pressure rising as my weight rises, I have to do it for health sake. Many of you know me as “thrifty” and the $452 I have invested will be a good incentive.

I’ve found the only way I can lose weight effectively is counting calories. I’m trying to balance what I eat so it isn’t all carbs, but I just can’t stick with the no carb diets. I don’t have much will power and find it easy to fall off the wagon. But if I can lose a couple of pounds a week, by September 10, 2006 I’ll weigh 110. Too drastic?

Until next time…

Just (I Feel Marvelous, Simply Marvelous) Jack