Monthly Archives: February 2004

Advertising For Sitter

 As time goes on my recovery always seems to me to be complete and probably is. As most of you know, in the early e-mails I talked about becoming a “new normal”. Since I am here in Florida alone and don’t have any friends or family to talk to (except the last three days) I consider myself the same as before the now tiresome and overused excuse of a bike wreck. Apparently not so!!

Tuesday I went up to Hudson to sign some condo papers. For those of you who are geographically challenged (Diane and Pat), Hudson is two hours North of Venice and a half hour North of Tampa. I signed the papers and, since Wednesday is my day off training, I planned to stay over until Thursday morning and come back down to Venice after running. That’s the way it happened but with a few bumps along the road.

Wednesday morning I ran some errands and went back to Mom’s condo (she’s up in Michigan helping big brother with taxes) to wash the car and then shower. I unpacked my overnight bag and realized I hadn’t brought a change of clothes. No clean t-shirt, socks or underwear. Those of you who really know me (not in the biblical sense) know that I’m a little picky about cleanliness. Once the underwear comes off it never goes back on, even if you’ve only had it on for 10 minutes (except back in my single days-Bill don’t tell Mom). Luckily I had brought my bathing suit so I changed into that and threw all my clothes into the washer and dryer (yes, I washed colors with darks-big deal). Problem solved.

I went into the bathroom to shave and shower and found that I had also forgotten to put in my shave cream and razor. Since retirement I have been shaving every other day or so (don’t have to go to work you know). With advanced age my beard has turned white. Wednesday was the third day and, by the time I drove down to Venice Thursday I looked like Gabby Hayes with teeth (for you younger people who don’t know who Gabby Hayes was, look it up on the internet and compare his picture with mine-the thong one).

I had taken the mountain bike up and had planned to ride on the bike trail along the toll road to Tampa (my first outing on a bike after 9/7/03) when I realized I hadn’t brought the bike pump and the tires were nearly flat. Luckily my hand pump (get your minds out of the gutter) was attached to the bike but was covered with mud. I took it off the bike and after 10,000 pumps the tires were hard enough to ride on. I went in and checked on the waist belt I wear on training rides and found I had not put in any spare tubes. You bikers know that it isn’t smart to ride ten miles down a trail with no spare tubes and then have a flat. It’s a long walk back to the car so I scrapped the ride.

Most of you know the condo here is up for sale. When the property was listed I went through and cleaned so it would show well but had two minor glitches. One, it has shown five times and will show again today. Last week I went to the Y to lift weights and it was shown while I was gone (some walk-ins at the real estate office). No problem except I hadn’t made the bed or cleaned the dishes out of the sink that were soaking from the night before (zucchini casserole with salsa-sounds awful but tastes great-low cal).

The other problem was a little embarrassing so Bill, again, don’t tell Mom. The washer and dryer are in the kitchen behind louvered doors. The dryer, through time, had emitted lots of dryer dust and it was driving me crazy (I’m beginning to sound like Monk-Friday 10:00 PM on USA channel) so I decided to clean it out. I got the vacuum out (it’s an upright) and tried to attach the hose. Since Jean isn’t here and vacuuming isn’t my forte I had some difficulty finding out how to attach it. I found that if you pulled off the bag attachment the hose would fit over that opening.

I opened the bi-fold doors and took the one side off the track so I could clean the inside of the door. It was covered with dust and as I vacuumed the dust disappeared. I thought it was great until, about two thirds of the way through, some dust blew back in my face. I tested the end of the vacuum and it was blowing, not sucking (again, clean up your thoughts). I looked and I had blown all the dust from the inside of the door through the louvers into the dining area. The dining room table looked like the table in the haunted mansion in the Dracula movie.

So it’s apparent I need a sitter (I asked a girl at Sharky’s I saw yesterday wearing a thong-the girl, not me-when Barb and Ernie took me to lunch but she was busy-you can tell I’m getting old ‘cuz I actually looked at her face) so I’m asking for volunteers. I’m flying to Michigan next Thursday and will return on the 24th. I’ll be leaving for Michigan on the 13th of March for good so there’s a small window of opportunity. A free vacation on the beach in Florida-sounds great doesn’t it? Send application to my e-mail address. Finalists will be interviewed in person either here or in Michigan. If a young lady is chosen I’ll pick up some heart medicine when I’m back in Hastings for the hospital board meeting.

Just Jack