Monthly Archives: December 2007

Why I Drink

I’ve written about the “chaos” that’s going on at the condo and it continues. It’s not the rowdy partying that you may expect. Nor is Jean the workout drill sergeant that many of you have come to know and love. True, when she’s at the fitness center or on a bike ride or on a run, she’s relentless, but even the energizer bunny needs some down time. You also know that I may be “ever so slightly” obsessive compulsive. I’m the first to admit it. But I’m willing to bet that most of you would be going crazy by now if you had to live in the conditions that I do.

First of all, it’s the garage parking. Jean parks on the left and I park on the right. You probably already know that if you’ve ever been at the condo. When you look at the garage wall on her side, it looks like a family of woodpeckers has moved in. There are pock marks all over the place! She claims it’s because she has to park too close to the garage wall so she can leave enough room for me to get in and out of my car. Well, this morning I went out to get in my car and I could barely fit between hers and mine, and with the bad weather and the salt all over everything, I’ve ruined more than one set of clothes. So, being the numbers geek that I am, I got out the tape measure. Sure, Jean was on her side of the center line, but there was 17 inches between the cars. You’ve all seen my butt and it probably is larger than 17 inches, so getting in the car was a struggle. I measured her side to the wall and it was 39 inches. She has enough room to do a handspring getting in and she still hits the wall with her car door? What am I to do?

Of course, that’s not all. We haven’t lived in a place with so many doors that get opened and closed every day since we’ve been married. The front closet where we keep our coats; the pantry door where we keep most of our food; the hallway closet where we keep the towels and linens. Jean swings them shut and walks away. Everyone knows from eighth grade science class that when there isn’t a vent for the air to escape, the door won’t close all the way. The air pushes against the door while it’s trying to equalize the pressure. It’s a good thing I’m retired and have the time to go around and close the doors behind her.

If you’re still not horrified, here’s the clincher. Jean spent quite a bit of time trying to find a wreath for the front of the house for the Christmas Season. She finally found one, decorated it with lights, and put it up on the front of the condo. Since there are two windows there, I assumed she would center it on the windows, which she did. A few days later we had some very windy days. One of the days she laughed and said “Look at how the wreath is blowing back and forth”. Now that the wind has stopped, the wreath is off center and she won’t fix it. We all know that when things are a little off center, the world is out of balance and that’s not a good thing. I’ve gone out and centered the wreath back up so bad things don’t happen. I took pictures of the mess, but they’re too gruesome to send over the internet.

And that’s why I drink!!

Just (Working To Keep My Sanity, Such As It Is) Jack


The First Annual Trilanders’ Beer and Wine Tasting Festival is history and I don’t think anyone had a hangover the next day except, maybe, Becky who was singing the Michigan State (Something) Song over and over near the end of the evening. Pat’s Cabernet/Merlot wine received rave reviews as did Sam’s Three Brothers Chardonnay. Many tried all four of the beer offerings and, although each had his or her favorite, I didn’t hear any complaints. Many watched the Ironman Hawaii World Championships from Kona, Hawaii and most watched the Trilanders 2007 CD which contained pictures of all of our 2007 races, parties and miscellaneous get togethers. The festivities started at around 4 (we told everyone 3 so they would be here by 4) and most left by 8:30. The early night was partially due to the weather and mostly because, since we train in moderation, we play in moderation too. Thanks to all who contributed to the evening which, between the beer, the wine, the Trilander CD, and the food, includes everyone who attended.

I wimped out again on yesterday’s run. There was ice all over the roads and I don’t have any “Yak Trax” so it wouldn’t have been smart for me to get out on the run. Through my 61 years I’ve probably pulled every muscle at least once and I see no reason to start all over again. They don’t heal like they used to. Of course, since I didn’t run, I cross-trained by inventorying and rearranging all my beer in the closet downstairs. Thanks to all who emptied bottles Saturday night. Now I have enough to bottle the Kolsch that’s been sitting in secondary fermentation for a month.

It’s days like yesterday and today, weather-wise, that make me second guess our decision to stay in Michigan for the winter. We’ve had strong winds for over a week and now we have just enough ice/snow to make running outside dicey. The Trilanders, being the troopers that they are, will still run every Sunday but may do the treadmill during the week when it’s really crappy out. Looking back on how bad the weather has been for some of our runs I wonder why we do it. For many of us, we know better, but it’s like climbing a mountain…you do it just so you know you can. Most of us are beyond trying to impress other people with our swimming, biking and running. For as good as we think we are, there is always someone better out there. We really do it for ourselves and/or so we can get together with a really great group of people who like to do the same things we do.

Enough sentimentality!! I know I’ve said this before, but this time I really mean it. I’m going to try to get rid of some of this extra weight. I thought it would be better training for my legs to haul all this lard around, but I think it’s having the opposite effect. If, on the off-chance, I actually do lose a few pounds it’s because I’m really trying. I’m not sick…I don’t look gaunt…I’m 5’10” tall so don’t tell me I’m too skinny until my body mass index (BMI) is in the “healthy” range. Don’t even tell me I’m looking better until I go from the “obese” to the “slightly overweight” range. If you don’t know where those points are, look it up on the internet. If you want a wake up call, figure out your own BMI. If I keep reading Laura Anderson’s nutrition column in The Reminder I may even start eating healthy too. OK! OK! Baby steps!

Just (I’m Hungry Just Talking About It) Jack