Â We are headed back to Michigan and will get there the Thursday or Friday before Thanksgiving. Jean told me that she felt embarrassed to face our friends and familiesÂ because my e-mail stories are not untrue butÂ a little misleading. She threatened not to spank me any more unless I straightened things out so here goes.
Hooters and the fire truck – I said the Hooters girls and the fire truckÂ were a hallucination when I started drivingÂ againÂ butÂ they wereÂ real. Hooters restaurants are doing a promotion (per brother Bob)Â with the national “Hooters Girls” so that’s what it was about. They show up at a local Hooters restaurant and the local community brings a fire truck for the girlsÂ to pose on and local peopleÂ take pictures for promotion. I have never been in a Hooters restaurant. I always thought the Hooters girls were all about sex but Bob says the restaurantsÂ have great chicken wings. I love them both (sex and chicken wings-not the Hooters girls boobs) but I’ve never had chicken wings while having sexÂ – they just don’t seem to belong together.
Shaking – My right hand did shake severelyÂ but that has pretty well gone away. I blamed it on theÂ scapula trauma but Dr. Diane gave me several physicals while we were in Panama City Beach cheering Jean on in the race. We came to the conclusion thatÂ something probably caused it. We are checking into the possibility that my hand doesn’t shake at all and everyone else’s eyes are twitching.Â On the bad side I do have to stir my coffee now. I found an old cigarette case at a garage saleÂ (like the ones you see in the old movies or, for you younger people, ancient history) so when you stop at the convenience store I would appreciate your picking upÂ stirring sticks that I could carry in the cigarette caseÂ for emergency.
Trilanders body marking – I said that Bill and I got no offers for using magic markers to write Tri on his butt and Landers on mine (my buttÂ isÂ wider so the letters should fit) while we wore our thongs. Not true that we received no offers andÂ I made up the story about the permanent markers and stencils. In fact we received several offers to be “markers”. Even though the offers were sent by e-mail we eliminated all the men due to poor penmanship. My thong is in Michigan so we plan to have tryouts over Thanksgiving week. It will probably take three or four rounds before a contract is awarded. It will be strenuous so Bill and I will be lying on massage tables wearing our thongs. We are now looking for “erasers” to clean the slate for the next contestant and “judges” to hold up score cards.
So those are the corrections. I’m all cleared but Jean may have bent the truth a little too. I have little memory about the hospital staysÂ and sketchy memory about the first two weeks. Jean has been telling me some of the details and I’m not sure I believe her. When she says I was an SOB the first couple of days I was home from the hospital, I flirted with my nurses, I had a 24 hour swearing day at the hospital, and on and on I think she is crying out for attention. I’m sure I was a handful to take care of but I’m a much nicer person than that.Â Humor her.
I started running on Wednesday (3 miles) and it felt good. I ran the same distance Friday and this morning. It feels like I’m starting all over again with sore muscles that are getting better with each outing. I swam for 25 minutes at the Y on Wednesday also. I swam easy but my shoulder muscles were sore afterwards. I have told you all (not to be confused with the hillbilly y’all that we hear down here) that I am still a little dizzy at times. When my head changes position quicklyÂ the room starts to spin like my bed after a college fraternity beer party. Each time I would turn my head in the pool to breathe the world would spin and I would lose my orientation in the lane. Each lane is 6 feet wide and IÂ looked like a bumper car careeningÂ from side to side. I would reach for theÂ edge of the poolÂ when I was still 6 feet away. It must have been entertaining to watch.
Just Jack (not to be confused with the “Will and Grace” gay character “Just Jack”)
P.S.-Someone please help me!!!!! Yesterday Jean and I went to a couple of shops looking for gifts and also went out to lunch at a sports bar. Michigan State was getting tromped on the big screen…I’m back to being a Michigan fan. Sometime during the outing we tried to think of the name of the town in Alabama where we stayed the night on the way down. Neither of us could think of it and our conversation went on to other things.
Later we were back at the condo watching Florida State and North Carolina State play football (what a game-double overtime). One of the quarterbacks threw a pass and the announcer said something aboutÂ the playerÂ going to Athens High School. I turned to Jean and said “Is Athens the name of the town where we stayed on the way down with Mom?” and she said “No, that’s the town we stayed at last year when we were driving home afterÂ you didÂ Ironman Florida.Â Remember weÂ almost ran into the tornadoes in Alabama and Tennessee”. And I said “Yes but didn’t we stay at the same motel both times?” and she said “Oh yeah, I guess we did. But we stayed on the other side of the buildingÂ and ordered a pizza instead of going next door to Applebee’s”.