Monthly Archives: February 2003

Trilander Dinner 2003

Two years ago we heard the story about the Trilanders and how our group was formed. Last year we looked back at the season, our accomplishments, our injuries and our training. This year the committee thought it would be appropriate to look to the future.

On January 19th I asked everyone to e-mail me with their 2003 season goals and their 2003 training objectives. Some e-mails were not functioning so they never got the message and some chose not to send them in. Some may have feared that they would be held up to public scrutiny or ridicule which may be true. Others may have been afraid to commit themselves for fear of being considered cocky or overly aggressive. Still others may have been afraid of failure and that not committing to a goal means you can’t possibly fail. Some may have thought this was a really cheesy idea and didn’t want any part of it. But many did respond. Some goals and objectives were short and simple. Others were quite detailed and specific. Here are the responses. The committee may have edited and corrected for spelling and punctuation. But as Tom Brokaw would say, “Here they are in their own words”.

Harry’s season goal is to finish Ironman Wisconsin. His training objective is to not allow the Ironman training to consume and dominate his life considering his personal and work obligations.

Kim’s season goals are to do the White Pine Stampede 20k cross-country ski race in 2 hours or less, to complete an Olympic distance triathlon this summer, to complete the Fifth Third Riverbank Run and to possibly complete the Bayshore Marathon in less than 4 hours. Her training objective is to complete a 10k race in 8 minute miles or better.

Gary said his season goal is to keep having fun doing what we are doing and his training objective is to keep training. He is looking forward to the long distance training we will be doing this summer and is glad he will have the summer off. Gary was once overheard saying that his goal at Ironman Wisconsin is to run the entire run portion which sounds redundant but if you’ve done an Ironman you know what he means.

Jenifer’s priority season goal is to arrive at the Ironman Wisconsin start uninjured and to complete the race. Her main training objectives would be to train wisely, consistently, and listen closely to her body. When something hurts…stop! When needing some time off…take it! Her other season goals are to do the Fifth Third Riverbank Run in 2:05 (does that mean if she gets to the finish line in 2:04 she’ll wait a minute to cross?), place 1st, 2nd or 3rd in her age group at the shorter triathlons and to “drink less and weigh less”. (She says the two are closely linked and appears to be off to a bad start on the drinking less part tonight). Her other training objectives are to return to sub 8 minute mile pace by the Fifth Third Riverbank Run, have a 12 minute half mile swim time, do the long time trial in 1:04 or less, remain uninjured, and to train wisely.

Diane’s season goals are to finish the Boston Marathon in less than 4:30, finish Ironman Wisconsin in less than 14 hours, to beat Karen Standley in at least one race this year and not to finish in 4th place in any race this year. Her training objective is to remain injury free.

Bill Bradley’s season goals are to complete the Fifth Third Riverbank Run, to do an early summer triathlon (either Johann’s or Macatawa), complete the Seahorse Challenge (which by the way is early this year…the day after Macatawa) and to complete his first half Ironman race at the Muncie Endurathon.

Martin’s season goals are to finish Ironman Wisconsin in less than 12:30 and to finish the Fifth Third Riverbank Run in less than 2:05. His training objectives are to improve his long distance running pace to less than 8 minute miles and to average 24 miles per hour on the 16 mile bike time trial. He plans to do the Fifth Third Riverbank Run, The Ann Arbor Triathlon, the Seahorse Challenge Triathlon, Hubbard Lake or Johann’s (they are on the same weekend), the Muncie Endurathon and Ironman Wisconsin.

Lynette says her goals are very simple. She hopes to start the season injury free and remain that way. She feels that will help her improve her time and distance.

Pat Purgiel’s goals are to successfully complete a triathlon (any triathlon), run a marathon in 3:45 or less (which is Boston Marathon qualifying time for the for the elderly), run the Fifth Third Riverbank Run in less than 2 hours, and meet the dream woman of his life except that I should only list the first three so would the jury please disregard that last one about meeting the dream woman of his life because that would embarrass him and we wouldn’t want that.

Judy Anderson says she doesn’t do triathlons but her training objective is to run pain free at some point in the near future and to finish the Fifth Third Riverbank Run.

Becky’s goal is to swim 1.2 miles in less than 1:30 or whatever the swim cutoff is for the Half Ironman. Her training objective is to not get injured, something that is proving hard to do.
Jim’s season goal is, and I quote “To kick ass and take names later and also to see the entire team cross the white line at Ironman Wisconsin”. His training objectives are to stay focused and have a sub-13 hour Ironman God willing.

Larry Etter’s goals for 2003 are to make it to the start line at Ironman Wisconsin capable of competing, to finish Ironman Wisconsin in less than 13 hours, to finish in the upper 20% of swimmers in his age group in all races, to finish in the top 50% of all bikers in his age group in all races, to finish close to 50% of all runners in his age group in all races, and to have fun doing all of the above.

Jack’s goals are to finish an Olympic distance triathlon in less than 2:45, improve his times in all repeat races by at least five minutes, to complete the Muncie Endurathon in less than 6:15, and to finish Ironman Wisconsin in less than 16:18:01. His training objectives are to integrate lactate threshold training and VO2 max training in his schedule, improve swim times by at least 5% in all races, solve his leg cramping problem through better conditioning and hydration, and most importantly lose 30 pounds by the first triathlon. First of all 170 pounds on a 4 inch wide bike seat has to be more comfortable than 200 pounds on the same seat. Secondly I defy anyone to get in their season’s best condition, strap on a thirty pound pack, ride the 24 hour challenge route and then run any distance, let alone a marathon.

Jean’s season goal is to make it to the start line at Ironman Wisconsin injury free. Sounds familiar doesn’t it? Her training objectives are to improve times in all three sports and to do the 24 hour challenge route once a week beginning in June. She also says she wants to be the strongest woman in her age group.

Jon Anderson’s schedule has changed drastically since Mark got called up for the reserves and may be gone for a year or more. His season goal would be to finish Ironman Wisconsin in the shortest time possible with the least amount of training. He would like to finish the swim in less than 1:05 and complete the bike course in 5 hours or less. His training objective is to get faster on the bike and concentrate his training to that end. He plans to train no more than 15 hours per week.

The one common theme that stands out is that everyone wants to remain injury free. After three years of hip tendonitis, shin splints, an AC joint separation, a flake fracture and a large hematoma, I’m not the one to give advice on how to do that.

This is the point on the Tonight Show when Johnny Carson would turn to Ed McMahon and say “With all these season goals and training objectives you would think that everything was covered”. Ed, by that time half in the bag, would reply according to the script “With all those goals and objectives there couldn’t possibly be any more that haven’t been thought of. If there was a book of goals and objectives, it wouldn’t have any that weren’t thought of by this group”. At this point, after the set-up, Johnny would say in his dorkiest voice “Not so my large pickled friend”. The committee came up with some suggestions that we may not have considered. As always, I apologize to the spouses and supporters for all the inside jokes.

Most of you know that Harry is Chief Operating Officer at Pennock Hospital. You also may know that there is a critical shortage in nursing and many other health care fields including Pharmacists. Harry, by training, is a Pharmacist. So after Harry spends all day at his regular duties he often works at the Pennock Pharmacy to help with staffing issues. Some people on the Board of Trustees have noticed that several months after Harry started working in the pharmacy there were a lot of pharmacy techs off on maternity leave. There may be no connection but the committee feels that Harry may have more energy for training if he spent less time with those young women.

One member of the committee noted that Kim has a little trouble sticking with her own training schedule. She comes to the Sunday runs saying she plans on running 5 miles, but ends up running whatever distance everyone else goes, often 8, 9 or 10 miles. Unlike Jack she may want to put on a little weight so she isn’t sucked along by the team vacuum.

It’s hard for the committee to suggest anything to Gary. He can lay off running for two weeks and then go out and run 10 miles just to keep someone company so they don’t have to run alone and he usually has to slow down to do that. However, the committee did feel that Gary is just a little too hyper, should calm down a little and learn to just take life as it comes.

Jenifer’s goals and objectives said it all. Just listen to your body and it will tell you what to do. But the committee suggests that Jenifer not train alone so much. It may be beneficial to find a training partner to work with. It might be helpful if that person liked to talk a lot too because they could share their experiences. We also hope that giving up her 30 minute pool soak before swim workouts doesn’t have a negative effect on her training. Jenifer should also try to be a little more upbeat and enthusiastic about life and her training.

With a new Softride, VO2 max testing, a swim workout book, attending a Florida Triathlon Training Camp, a new computrainer and Boston Marathon training, what ever happened to Diane’s workout philosophy that “Less is better”? The committee does suggest that when she runs with Pat and they come to a fork in the road that she turns the opposite direction that Pat thinks is correct.

In his list of goals and training objectives Bill said that he wants to be just like Jack. Does that mean he wants the guys in the locker room to comment on his anatomy? For those of you that don’t know what that means, let me know and I’ll see that you get a copy of the e-mail from Florida.

Medically we know that people have different levels of testosterone in their bodies. We also know that an important part of training is to know your lactate threshold and incorporate lactate threshold training into your schedule. The committee feels that Martin may be the most technically qualified to develop a machine to determine a person’s testosterone threshold. The test might consist of blood tests while reading a variety of men’s magazines, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue and the Victoria’s Secret catalogue. Once the threshold is established it could be correlated to the lactate threshold so that overtraining due to testosterone overload doesn’t occur. We’re not sure what kind of training would be necessary to alter the testosterone threshold but we do feel sorry for Jane.

Lynette had some concerns about staying healthy and injury free during her training schedule. One way to achieve this is to not train when you are overly tired. Lynette may want to consider having Harry work more hours at the pharmacy so she gets her needed rest.

The books say that when you are training at an aerobic level you should be able to carry on a conversation with your training partner. Pat must be extremely concerned that he is going anaerobic because he is continually testing to see that he is in that aerobic range. To combat this behavior the committee suggests that Pat try to run the entire 7 mile Cook/Quimby/Broadway loop with at least one other person without saying a word. He may also want to consider wearing a pin-on GPS so he isn’t led astray by Diane on the Sunday runs.

We can’t criticize Judy’s training objectives because of her physical problems. We do suggest, however, that she sit down with Jenifer and Jean and find out how they are able to listen to their doctors, completely stop training and let their injuries heal properly.

We hope that Becky doesn’t have a bladder control problem. When Bill and I follow her on these long winter runs we see urine at every mailbox but she blames it on the dogs. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and happens to lots of people. Also, we don’t know of any triathlon that allows dogs to assist the participants so we suggest that Becky try to get her heart rate above 115 as the dogs pull her up the Yeckley/Cook/Quimby road hills.

It sounds like Jim may have his hands full as Trish’s due date is just before Ironman Wisconsin. We do, however, suggest that Jim make it a training objective to swim at least once before each race. Also, there will be a collection taken up later so Jim can invest in a pre-race hair brush.

Larry’s training is by the book or more precisely by the books. But remember the old saying “Don’t judge me until you walk a mile in my shoes”. The committee thinks it would be helpful for Larry to see how well off he is and how the other half lives. They suggest that he go a week without wearing his heart rate monitor, charting his training activities or logging his running shoe mileage. If he has difficulty, there are support groups that would be willing to talk him through the rough times.

The committee couldn’t find any fault with Jack’s scheduled activities. His season goals are realistic and attainable and his training objectives are reasonable and appear to be complete. He doesn’t appear to have any quirks or idiosyncrasies that they could poke fun at. The committee is concerned that if Jack does lose 30 pounds, he will also lose his excuse for not doing well in some of his races. He is encouraged to develop a stand-by injury in the event of a poor performance.

The committee is concerned that any criticism or jokes directed at Jean may be met with physical and/or sexual consequences. The committee is not at all concerned that she spends all of her waking hours either swimming, running, spinning, lifting weights, riding her trainer, attending yoga classes, attending Pilates classes, doing Pilates tapes at home, doing yoga tapes at home, reading nutrition books, reading running books, reading biking books, and reading triathlon magazines. The committee likes her decorating theme in the bedroom that makes it look like a Dr. Scholl’s display case. Jack was a little concerned in Florida when he caught Jean eying his foot for a transplant. They aren’t the same blood type but Jack has seen calls on the caller ID from the Duke University Medical Center.

The committee has heard unconfirmed rumors that Jon Anderson spent much of his recent vacation on the cruise ship working on alternative training techniques. An anonymous senior level White House official has told CNN that the new training formats may include consuming large amounts of alcohol before talking on a cell phone, walking around in our underwear and some cross-dressing. I know a guy at the Seven Springs Y in Florida that may be interested in the last two parts.

If any of you are offended by any of these suggestions don’t blame me. Talk to the committee although I’m not really sure who the committee is.

To be serious for just a minute, it was a common theme that everyone wanted to stay healthy and injury free. That’s not likely to happen but we can minimize the occurrence rate and severity if we plan our workouts carefully, think about what we are doing and, as Jen suggests, listen to our bodies. I look around and see people like my next door neighbor, who is younger than me, healthy one day and fighting for his life the next. Like Johann Visser, he is running a race he probably won’t finish. We should thank God every day that we are able to whine about our injuries, listen to a good friend all 7 miles of a 7 mile run, cross dress and even pee on mailboxes.

Above all, Larry and Gary said it best “No matter what your season goals and training objectives are, the most important thing is to have fun”.


If you are easily offended you should delete this e-mail now and not read any further. This is smut!! Not intentional smut-sociological smut-but smut nevertheless.

When most people meet me they think I am a conservative, laid back typical accountant, which I am. But as people get to know me they come to understand that I have been up and down the road a few times. So when I say that I have never experienced anything like this before, it’s saying something.

When I came out of the YMCA today I told Jean that I didn’t know whether I had just been hit on or not-hence the dilemma.

The YMCA is about 14 miles south of Hudson in a fairly new area on the way to Clearwater. The first time we went there to work out was at three in the afternoon. The other YMCAs we have been to in Florida have been mostly senior citizens-yes, older than us. This one was over run by high school kids. The next couple of times we tried to get there mid-morning. Each time it has been over run by young mothers. The stationary bike spinning class was all young women and was in one corner of the main room. There is a Pilates class going on in one of the workout rooms, again all young women, and a step aerobics class in the gym. Yes, you guessed it, all young women. Two or three personal trainers have group sessions with four or five young women in each group.

While lifting weights, Jean and I had to alter our routines because the groups would take over an area and stay for a while. They were sometimes lifting weights but always talking. After lifting, we both went to the outdoor pool and swam for an hour or so. After swimming we took showers. The shower stalls had no hooks or shelves to put a towel, goggles, shampoo and my glasses so I put them across the aisle on a bench in the handicap shower. I finished showering and went over to the handicap shower stall to dry myself off. I looked down the aisle and, at the end of the shower room, are hair dryers (like the hand dryers in bathrooms) mounted high on the walls. I saw a guy down there dressed, but holding something up to one of the dryers.

I’m not an exhibitionist but I’m not shy either so I was standing in the aisle drying myself off as normal. I didn’t have my glasses on, but it seemed like the guy down at the hair dryers kept looking at me. When I was dry I wrapped the towel around myself, picked up my goggles and swimsuit and walked down past the guy to the door. He watched me all the way and was smiling at me. As I got closer to him I could see that he had a t-shirt on but no pants or underwear. He looked to be about sixty-five. As I passed by him, he said, and I quote “You know you have a nice healthy pecker there”. He went on to say “A lot of big guys have those short little stubby ones, but yours looks real good. It’s nice to see a good pecker on a man.” I was flabbergasted and didn’t know what to say so I timidly said “thank you”.

I went out the shower room door and he followed me. I went to the locker where my clothes were and his locker just happened to be right next to mine. His things were all spread out on the bench and he started talking to me as we both dressed. He told me he was from Long Island, but was retired and lived in New Port Richey. He worked at a grocery store part time as a bagger for some extra money.  I was shaking like a leaf and my towel slipped off twice (I hope it didn’t come off “subconsciously” on purpose) before I could get my clothes on and get out the door.

So here’s the dilemma – Was he hitting on me or was that the worst choice of a conversation starter in the history of the world?

On the one hand, if he was trying to pick me up he wouldn’t have referred to me as a “big guy”. That’s like telling a girl her extra weight looks great on her-not a good line. Plus, he really didn’t say anything off color after that and didn’t ask me for “a date”. He didn’t follow me out the door and I never heard from him again. So maybe after swimming and the resulting shrinkage, he was just giving me a compliment to be kind.

On the other hand he broke three of the most important locker room rules:

1) Don’t stare

2) If you are talking to a naked man, maintain eye contact at all times

3) Never verbalize what you see (if you do, making fun with comments like “Oh My God!!!” or “ha ha ha ha” may be acceptable. The line “you have a nice healthy pecker” is way off limits)

So what do you think?


Triathlon Testing

 Here we are in sunny Florida. It’s 50 degrees and the rain is coming down sideways. We waited to start our Sunday run after it let up but it never did so we went anyway. The wind and rain made it a miserable run. We weren’t as uncomfortable as zero degrees and 6 inches of snow in Michigan but all the streets here flood (it’s so flat there’s nowhere for the rain to go). I lagged a block or two behind Jean as I felt a nature call at 4 miles. I knew if I went back to the condo I wouldn’t go back out so I waited for a bathroom at mile 8 (city streets with no vegetation to hide behind). It’s hard to run with your legs crossed.

We went to Clermont Thursday for our triathlon testing. It felt like college all over again as we spent the night before the big test at a beach bar with brother Bob, Jean’s son Robert and one of his friends. We intended to have an oxygen uptake test, lactate threshold test, swim stroke force analysis, bike fit and muscle limiter analysis. When we got there (it’s about an hour and a half away, so we left 2 hrs 15 minutes before we were supposed to be there–sound like me doesn’t it?) we had to fill out some paperwork. Chuck Wolf (the director) talked us out of the VO2 max test because, unless we are elite athletes, the number doesn’t mean much. Also the swim force analysis couldn’t be done because the tech’s father had passed away.

We both got the lactate threshold test. You run on a treadmill and every 2:30 they take a blood sample, record heart rate, ask your perceived exertion (6-20 scale) and increase the speed. As soon as your blood level of lactic acid increases over the previous reading by more than 1.0 you have reached your lactate threshold. When the girl said she may have to prick our fingers up to ten times I was reminded of the junior high joke where the patient is running out of his room followed by a nurse carrying a pan of boiling water followed by the doctor saying “No nurse Ratchett, I told you to prick his boil”, but I digress. My lactate threshold is 168 and shows a fairly classic pattern. Jean’s is 175 and also shows a normal pattern. They felt my cramping was a training issue as I do mostly endurance training and little or no lactate threshold training (20-60 minutes at 163-173) and never any VO2 max intervals (30 sec to 5 minutes at 180 with equal rest intervals).

After that we had muscle analysis and found out what we already knew; that our muscles (especially hips) are tight and they gave us both stretching exercises to do. Although the swim force analysis couldn’t be done, we spent some time with the swim coach for the USA Triathlon National Training Center. He had some good tips and drills for both of us. He had me bilateral breathing (for you non-swimmers “going both ways” is not a bad thing) in a short time. I only swallowed 4 gallons of pool water and they didn’t charge extra for that.

The bike fit was done by a young guy named Adam Baskin. He was about 5’6″ and weighed 135 (I asked). He is a Cat 1 road racer on one of the three Ford teams. He had been out riding with Shiela Taormina and had to cut it short to do the bike fit. It was 75 and sunny and we were inside all day. He moved our cleats (Village Bike had put them on backwards), moved both of our seats back and lowered our seats to compensate. Jean’s chain is stretched (I wonder how that happened) she needs a new chain, new cassette, new front rings and narrower handlebars. If any of you have Natasha’s e-mail Jean would like to see if she wanted to sell her used Cheetah. Adam asked me if my left butt cheek (he said glute) was tight because my right knee kicked out a little. That was the same thing Chuck had said during the muscle analysis so it definitely has some effect both biking and running. I’m looking for volunteers for massage therapy, preferably female but not too young as my heart couldn’t take it.

All in all the day was exhausting but well worth it (we started at 8:30 AM and walked out of the building at 2:45 with no lunch break). We’ll talk more about it when we get back. Sounds like Diane heard the same things.

We plan to be back Sat but the weather is supposed to be getting better so may delay until Monday.

Jack & Jean