As most of you know the week or so after an Ironman race you shouldn’t do any swimming, biking or running. After that you should slowly start exercising again starting with swimming and then doing some easy biking and running. Since we’ve been training so hard for so long, we have a tendency to get post race blues and get antsy (is that a word?) to do something…anything!

There are lots of things out here at the cottage that I should have fixed but didn’t before the race so I’m starting to knock them off one by one. The last couple of weeks there has been a steady drip at the top of my water softener tank. Not the one that holds salt but the one that looks like an acetylene torch tank.

I took off the cover and the leak was coming from a small plastic plug. I don’t know what else it is supposed to do but if it just plugs a hole, why even have it? It has a screwdriver slot so I grabbed a screwdriver and turned it very slightly. The drip stopped and I was proud that I (mechanically inclined I’m not!) was able to fix it so easily. I came back a half hour later to check it to make sure the dripping had stopped and it was dripping much faster than it had been before I messed with it.

I figured it loosened up on its own so I tightened it a slight bit more. Just then the plastic plug came flying out along with a stream of water that hit me in the face and chest and I was immediately soaked. The stream went all the way across the basement (15 feet or so) so I had to get it stopped. I put my hand against the stream of water, went under a power cord (dangerous?) and shut off the water to the whole house. All my conditioning beer got wet and I didn’t want to lose the cardboard cases so I had to move them to “high ground” and get everything else away from the inch of standing water.

After a trip to Hastings to get a $3.29 plug, some salt for the softener and a new water filter I was back in business. The new plug was engineered a little differently so it didn’t break with very little pressure. I put it in, the leak stopped, and I was on to my next repair job.

I had three bags of salt so I carried them in from the car and put them in the softener. I grabbed the first one from the car and carried it downstairs on my left shoulder. Not a problem. When I got to the softener I didn’t have anything to cut the plastic salt bag with so I grabbed an awl from the pegboard where I keep my screwdrivers. I put the salt bag on the edge of the tank and stuck the bag with the awl and pulled it to the side. The bag opened and salt came pouring out into the tank, but I started to lose my grip on the bag. I don’t know what spazoid move I made but I ended up trying to grab the bag with both hands and I stabbed myself in the finger with the awl. It was a little painful since my fingers were covered in salt.

I got that to stop bleeding and I was on my way to the next project. The water filter is right next to the water softener so I thought it would be a good time to change that. I turned off the water to the filter, pressed the pressure relief valve (yes, I read the directions and that’s what it said to do), and took off the canister. The old filter came out and had a rubber gasket on the end so I salvaged that and cleaned the canister thoroughly.

I took it to the basement, inserted the filter, put on the gasket and screwed it back on. It said not to overtighten so I didn’t. I turned the water back on and water, again, sprayed all over the place. After a couple more tries it dawned on me that the old filter was one style (that needed a gasket) and the new filter was another style (that didn’t need a gasket). It didn’t say that anywhere in the directions but, if you’ve read any directions lately, you know they sound like they’re written by someone in a foreign country that doesn’t have a good command of the English language. Gasket out…filter in…didn’t leak…success!!

With that kind of track record it concerns me that I have a couple of projects that may be dangerous. The stool in the upstairs bathroom has some rust stains that I just can’t get out. I’ve tried everything and I think the rust is etched into the porcelain. I need to change the stool and the seat, but I’ve never done it. The instructions on the internet say an idiot can do it (they don’t say that, but they do imply it) but they haven’t met me. I’m concerned that I’ll make the switch, have a huge water leak, and create a costly water repair job to the entire downstairs ceilings and walls.

The other job is on the roof. The coaxial cable to the basement doesn’t work so I can’t get Dish Network down there. When I’m riding on the trainer I listen to the oldies on Ch 6005 (Ch 5 on Sirius) so I’d be able to hear it on the downstairs TV without turning the sound way up on the upstairs TV and blasting out the neighborhood. The ladder I would use to fix the cable is one that Jean’s Dad used to use and it’s seen better days. With that and my post bike wreck sense of balance, I could lay in the front yard for days before anyone came by to pick up Humpty Dumpty.

Maybe I should just clean the refrigerator and call it good?

Just (Finally Warm And Able To Move My Fingers) Jack

 By now many of you have already heard that Jean, Larry and I finished the race at Ironman Wisconsin Sunday and none of us got hurt. That could be the end of the story, but if you’re interested, here are some of the details from the “Just Jack” point of view.

All week long before the race the weathermen talked about a cool front coming through the area and the temperatures were expected to be a high of 67 and a low of 52 with a 30% chance of rain. Well, they were about 30% right!!! I don’t know the exact numbers but I think the low was around 52, the high never got above 59, there was a 100% rain event from the time the race started until it was over and the wind blew from 10 to 20 mph all day long. I can’t describe the conditions as anything but BRUTAL.

The swim was the warmest I was all day. It was chilly when we got ready, but once we got in, the water temp was about 72 and was not uncomfortable. The waves were a different story. There was a strong chop and whitecaps on the lake. The wind was from the east northeast so the waves made the swim on the “back side” of the rectangular swim course difficult. On many occasions I turned my head to take a breath and was whacked in the face by a wave, either swallowing water or having to wait for the next time to get that breath.

Several times I went to take a stroke and was slapped in the face by the waves, but on one stroke a wave caught my left elbow and I could feel my shoulder joint strain. It took a lot of the strength out of the next few strokes and was uncomfortable for the rest of the swim, but nothing that really lasted too long and was gone by the middle of the bike. The mass of humanity in the water was awful. 2,475 athletes started the swim which was the most for any Ironman race. There were bodies everywhere and I fought for position the entire race. I was groped so many times by flailing arms that I felt like one of the “loose girls” at the senior prom.

The bike was worse. I came out of the swim a minute or so of when I expected, did a slow transition to the bike and was off. There were a lot of bikes around us so we had to go slow in town since we made lots of turns in tight areas and the roads were slippery from the rain. Once we got on the road to Verona, it was still crowded but at least you could pick up some speed. Without going into all the details about the ride (ask me sometime and I’ll tell you more than you want to know), all I can say is that it was difficult. The corners were slippery and I saw a few riders go down.

My speed was about where I expected until the second loop. By then the wind was a bit stronger, I was soaked to the skin, all my muscles stayed “tight” and never loosened up, and my body decided to release water. I’ll try to explain. I don’t know why it happens, but often, when the temperatures change from warm to cold, my body decides I don’t need to retain so much water, so I (excuse the expression) pee a lot. I went once when I got up at 4:15 AM, once again before we left the hotel, once after the swim and then I was fine until the second loop of the bike.

I had hydrated as planned and I had to pee again after stopping at the bike special needs area to fill up my camelback with Gatorade mixed with carbo pro. This is where men have an advantage over women (the only time we have an advantage). I pulled over to the side of the road in an abandoned driveway, stayed straddled on the bike, and cut loose. About halfway through he loop, I had to go again, pulled into another abandoned driveway, and repeated. A half hour later when I had completed the second loop and was near the spot where we turned off on the road to Madison, I had to go again and pulled into an entrance to a bike path.

The ride from that point to Madison was 14 miles and took less than an hour, but I had to go (had to go) twice more so I “let ‘er rip” while riding. I had heard about racers doing that and I said I never would but I was in a residential area, couldn’t wait, and I knew the rain would wash it away. Gross and disgusting…yes. Necessary relief…priceless. By the way…anyone want to buy a slightly used Trek bike seat? I had hoped for a 7 hour bike which, for me on that course, was possible. My bike computer time was around 7:13 or so but the stop at the bike special needs and the three pee breaks made the actual time closer to 7:30.

My ride into town was into the teeth of the wind and, by the time I made it to Monona Terrace where the bike transition was located, my hands were so cold I had trouble shifting. The last of the ride is up a helix to a parking level and I had to get the bike into my easiest gear, which I eventually did, but with much difficulty.

I had a long transition from bike to run just trying to get dry and warm. I saw several guys that were so cold, they were wrapped in thermal blankets and had dropped out of the race. The guy next to me was shivering so much he couldn’t undress himself, so he was done (under protest). I got on dry clothes, got my jacket out of my swim to bike bag (not a waterproof jacket), and was off on the run after another pee break.

I felt surprisingly good and was running at a comfortable pace for the first 10 miles. I was stopping at each aid station and drinking warm chicken broth, eating pretzels, drinking water and Gatorade, and felt good. At about the 8th mile I could tell my legs were getting very tired, my left achilles was stiff, but the muscles were still tight from the cold and I couldn’t get them to loosen up. By the 10th mile I went to complete muscle failure and I was reduced to a walk. I’d like to say that it was some kind of injury to save face, but it wasn’t. I hit my limit of endurance on that day under those conditions.

From there on in it was a walk. Oh I ran/shuffled in some of the spots where I could but I couldn’t go more than a half mile at a time and I was back to walking. I stopped in porta-johns to pee twice more so I was well hydrated. The porta-johns have a little funnel shaped “thing” in the corner that is supposed to act as a urinal for the men. I was so cold and shivering so much that I couldn’t keep the “stream” where it should be and the next person in there probably thought I was writing my name in pee all over one wall.

I drank either water, Gatorade or warm chicken broth at every aid station except the last one and I ate soggy pretzels, oranges, bananas and soggy cookies so my nutrition was up to speed. On a positive note I finished with a personal record time. On a negative note, my previous times were both 16:13 and a few seconds so 15:50 (yes, that’s 15 hours and 50 minutes) wasn’t that great. I was 34th out of 63 in my age group (my normal “middle of the pack” finish) and 13 out of those 63 didn’t finish.

Out of our friends from Grand Rapids, Libby finished about 4 minutes ahead of me after two flats on the bike, Ruth finished in 16:59:20 (yes, that’s 40 seconds from the time cutoff) and George (Ruth’s husband) didn’t make the time cutoff.

As for Jean and Larry, you’ll have to talk to them about their races. Jean ended up 2nd out of 10 in her age group after a treacherous swim, a decent bike considering that when she passed me on the second loop she couldn’t get her bike into the big ring and had to ride the rest of the bike in the small ring, and a run where she ran the first loop (13.1 miles) until her knee gave out and she too was reduced to walking. I haven’t had a chance to talk to Larry after the race but I know he got chilled, the muscles tightened up and cramped on the run, and he ended up 75th out of 121 in his age group.

I don’t usually do this but I’ll speak for all of us. Things didn’t go as we planned and we would have liked to have better races so it sounds like we’re all disappointed but we’re not. Given the brutal conditions, we’re all proud that we were able to “tough it out”, finish a race that 305 of the 2,475 that started couldn’t, and again we can call ourselves IRONMAN. This was Jean’s 5th, Larry’s 4th and my 3rd ( and probably last) but running up that last couple hundred yards with screaming fans cheering you on still brings a tear to my eyes. With blisters on both feet, we were cold, we were wet, and every muscle and bone in our bodies ached, but for that minute we were all three “on top of the world”.

Just (Ironman And Proud Of It) Jack

 The race is one week away (yikes!!) and we’re on the taper part of our training. There isn’t anything we can do now to improve fitness but the taper should keep us at our peak or so that we peak on race day (I never know which).

We did an easy bike yesterday. Larry was supposed to go 2 hours at an easy pace and I was supposed to go 2 to 3 hours at race pace, so we went 2:40 at an easier than race pace followed by a 20 minute run. The run was at a 9:02 pace which was a little faster than I had planned to go off the bike, but you know Larry and Bill. It’s testosterone. It’s chemical. It’s not their fault.

We couldn’t decide on a “for sure route” so we started out headed West (for Bill it was East). It was going to be a little cool and at coffee on Friday I said I didn’t want to go any later than 10 so Larry said meet at his place at 9 (Bill chimed in “What was wrong with 10?”). It was chilly and I was a little cool with a long sleeved “Primal” bike jersey. Bill rode with both long and short sleeved shirts and Larry wore a Trilanders jacket over his bike jersey.

We went over 131 and pulled into a “park and ride” lot. I thought one of them may have felt a call of nature so I turned my back and was staring out at the highway. I happened to turn around and they were both stripping down to their bike shorts and I turned away as fast as I could. They’re both grown men and what they do at rest areas along highways is their own business. I just hope I don’t read about them in the paper at one of those camera surveillance sting operations.

At about an hour and 30 minutes I mentioned that I could use a bathroom break sometime and if we were more than 20 minutes out I couldn’t wait for Larry’s house. So Larry, Bill and I broke the law again and relieved ourselves in front of nature and everyone who cared to look. Larry picked the spot and I thought it would be desolate but it was the dirt extension of a heavily traveled road and the cars were constantly coming up to the corner staring right at us. I really think they were all laughing “with” us, not “at” us. Several people stopped their cars and looked for sticks to poke their eyes out with.

Becky came out to the cottage last night and we cooked out on the grill. She always bring her wine mixed with diet squirt (she can’t figure out why that hasn’t caught on with one of the wine companies…they could make a fortune) and she was drinking it out of a “sippy cup”. She said she picked it up in the grocery store in the infant and child section. Yes, It’s the same Becky who claims she isn’t pregnant when we asked on our Torch Lake training trip. She said today on the boat ride after our morning run that the father may be “that guy that won the Tour de France” but she couldn’t remember his name. I just don’t know what to think.

We’ll be leaving on Thursday and will be back late Monday. Our original plan was to come back by way of the Upper Peninsula and stop at some friends’ house in Iron River to make up for a trip we didn’t make back in July when Jean did her “not so graceful” tumbling act off the bike and maybe get back late Wednesday. Now she’s working with a group of ladies to get started with weights and her first class is Tuesday evening. She’s bummed because she’ll miss the second class on Thursday and missing the following Tuesday is out of the question. So, Jack and Mum…maybe in Florida?

We’ll be swimming at the cottage tomorrow morning (Labor Day) since Diane isn’t home and we have a short (40 to 50 minute) race pace swim. It’s at 8 AM so anyone who wants to swim or go along side with the kayak and protect us, come on out. We’ll have coffee, bagels, English muffins, ham that Judy left today and the last two cinnamon rolls that Pat left today.

Keep us in your thoughts next Sunday. We’ll need all the good vibes we can get.

Just (Counting Down The Hours Until The Big One) Jack

 Last Sunday, since we hadn’t seen each other in a while, Typhoid Jean came out to the lake for the afternoon. I was weeding the beach and then watched the PGA golf tournament, neither of which excited Jean, so she left. But before she went she made sure I got infected with the same cold virus she had. We’ve both been a little “under the weather” ever since.

It’s not been bad enough to stay in bed and not do our Ironman training, but we haven’t felt good enough to “train to the max”. I know! It’s a shock but on yesterday’s long bike of 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 hours at heart rate 2 or 3, Jean stopped at 4 hours. I stopped at 3:22 and we both ran our 40 minute transition run and felt like crap afterward. Her cold has stayed in her sinuses and mine has gone to my chest. I got into a couple of coughing jags on the bike and a couple on today’s long run, but survived, although it was hard to catch my breath with the cold “remnants” and the high humidity. Better now than two weeks from now, eh!

As many of you know, a couple of weeks ago I volunteered to be a “guinea pig” at Pennock Hospital to test procedures surrounding the use of our new 64 slice CT scanner. It was an easy, non-invasive procedure and I was happy to help out. The practice sessions give the nurses and technicians information about how long things take, what works and what doesn’t, and how the patients are likely to react. Everyone there was very nice and thanked me for agreeing to help out. From my point of view it was a good way to get a “screening” of my heart without having chest pains to prompt the test.

This past week, Dr. Ward (radiologist) met with me to go over the tests and show me the pictures. We spent some time talking about my pictures specifically and spent more time talking about the procedures in general. Being on the hospital board, I wanted to know if the money we spent was worth it and I’m convinced first hand that it definitely was. Dr. Ward and the people in radiology were very courteous and I thanked them for taking time out of their busy schedules to talk with me. I did get a bit of bad new though. There is nothing wrong with my heart and there is no medical reason that I shouldn’t do Ironman Wisconsin. That was my last chance of a gracious way out, so I either do the race or wear the label of a quitter. I’m looking forward to the race.

We’re now in our taper for the race. As most of you know the taper period shortens the duration of training sessions but keeps up the intensity. It’s a way of keeping you sharp, but gives you more time to recover from the workouts. The only real week of doing very little both in duration and intensity is that last week before the race. It’s that week when you get a little “antsy” and want to get the show on the road.

I’m working on my race plan. No, not the one that starts out “When the gun goes off, swim as fast as you can. Then get on the bike and ride as fast as you can. Then get off the bike and run as fast as you can and it’s over”. If it only was that simple.

Just (Two Weeks Before A Long Day Of Fun) Jack

 Another week has gone by and now we’re 3 weeks out from “The Big Dance”. The nerves haven’t set in yet, but they will. I’m generally not nervous at the start of races. It’s 3 or 4 days before the event that gets to me and I’m not sure why. A shrink could find out but I’m not sure I care to know.

The saga of the bike seat continues. I decided not to resurrect the Trek and train with that at the last minute. I opted to try another bike seat on the Roubaix instead. I got one from Kentwood Schwinn on Tuesday and tried it out Wednesday on a short 16.5 mile ride. All was well but (npi) you can never tell on such a short stint on the bike whether it will hurt or not on a long ride.

The Saturday bike ride was a 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 hour heart rate 1 ride and after 3:23:45 my butt didn’t hurt. Hallelujah!! I could feel some pressure but it was far from the agony of last week. Again, that doesn’t mean that the new seat will be OK for 112 miles, but (npi) it seems promising. The ride on Saturday was wet as you who did the Three Rivers Triathlon know (congratulations to you all!). Larry and I didn’t start riding until 9 or so and for the first half of the first 28.45 mile loop it was raining pretty steady. The main problem was not being able to see. I was afraid I’d fail to see a pile of road kill, run right over it, lose control and go down but that didn’t happen. I also knew that if I couldn’t see, the drivers of cars and trucks probably couldn’t see either.

It’s funny how your mind wanders on a long bike ride. Around the middle of the second loop I was imagining a scene where I had won a race (not going to happen) and I was being interviewed about how it felt to beat the best in the world (also not going to happen). I was asked by Howard Cosell (by the way…he’s dead) to describe my feelings and I told him it was like the night you and your spouse “make a baby” (where did that one come from?). It was a great experience and fulfilling to help bring a new person into the world, but I really enjoyed the hundreds of times practicing before we got it right.

Howard and the audience got a chuckle out of that answer (maybe I was just trying to be funny…a comedian I’m not). I went on to talk about how races were there to test how I was doing, but I really enjoyed the training. I talked about the group swims on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings at 5:30 to 6 A.M. at Diane’s, the group rides on Saturdays, and the group runs on Sundays. All of a sudden it occurred to me that the “group” aspect of training conjures up some weird thoughts with the conception analogy. I guess I didn’t think it through very well, but at least it made me laugh out loud on the bike. Passers-by probably thought I was nuts and maybe I am but I’m having fun in my own little world.

I ran the Sunday run alone again this week…75 to 90 minutes at heart rate 1 or 2. Jean said a few people may show up to run in town but I’m cheap and hated to spend $6 on gas to drive in from the lake when no one was running the same distance I was anyway. I did the run around the lake but ran along M-43 to the paved part of Sprague Road instead of doing the dirt part. I went 9.44 miles and walked the last half block ‘cuz my 90 minutes was up and you know how I am about that.

Afterward I went down to the local restaurant for breakfast since the cook and butler had the day off. I usually go to the “other” restaurant (there are two in town) but decided to give this one a try. Now I know why I don’t go there. The only seat was in the smoking section (yes, Michigan still has a smoking section in bars and restaurants) and I was pinned against the back wall with a table of chain smokers between me and the door.

Now I have nothing against smoking. Other than the fact that it’s a filthy, disgusting habit that pollutes the environment with smoke and cigarette butts; causes serious health problems that cost all the rest of us health insurance money to subsidize smokers; is a complete waste of money for something that does more harm than good; and causes others to suffer from breathing second hand smoke, there’s nothing wrong with it.

There were two tables of heavy smokers (both in weight and smoking volume) out of six tables in the section, and both of those tables had families with young children. Don’t they watch the TV commercials about second hand smoke? I have some friends who smoke and none of them smoke around their children (that I know of).

As if the smoking wasn’t bad enough, I never saw my waitress except when she took my order and brought it to me. No coffee refill…no ice water refill…no “How is everything?” question. And every time I took a sip of ice water which, after my run, I really needed, I could smell the bleach based disinfectant residue in the sanitary (?) plastic glass. I kick myself because I left a normal tip.

Just (Back To Cooking For Myself) Jack

 We’re 4 weeks out from “The Race” and I’m feeling the effects of long training. Paul and Roch say in their MultiSports training schedule that you should feel a little overtrained at this point. I feel a lot overtrained, but part of that has to do with getting the cottage ready for an open house today from 12 until 2. Several people came and it kept Ron busy so we’ll see. It forced me to clean and dust. I try not to say sexist things in these e-mails in fear of the fallout, but the house was “man clean”. Clean enough for a man to think it looks great, but not clean enough for a woman to say the same thing.

The saga of the bike seat continues. On Wednesday of last week I noticed that the seat was sitting nose down about 1 cm from level. I thought I had it at level and 1 cm is quite a difference, so I got out the 4 foot level and reset the seat. Wednesday’s ride was only 24 miles but was comfortable. Not so yesterday. Larry and I did 3 loops from his house to Wayland and back. Each loop was 28.5 (approx.) miles and I was starting to feel it after the first loop. The second loop was uncomfortable and the third loop was downright torture. Instead of the 6 to 7 hours I was supposed to ride, I quit at 5 hours and 22 minutes.

This week I’m going to try my Trek again. I never got sore on that bike until about 85 or 90 miles, a point when everyone is ready to get off the bike. It’s different than riding the Roubaix, a road bike, but I ride it every week on the trainer for 70 to 90 minutes, so it’s not like starting all over again. The next step is to see my dentist and see if I can get enough Novocain to deaden my posterior for seven hours or so.

On yesterday’s ride I had several people honk while they were coming up behind me. I’m not sure if they’re trying to let me know they’re coming or they’re trying to let me know I should get the heck off the road. Every one of the ones that honked were young men (anyone under 59 1/2 is young to me) with big pickup trucks. Maybe it’s a testosterone thing. Remember ladies, men can blame their actions on hormones too.

On Friday’s swim Bill and I collided in the middle of the lake. He usually stays left on the way over and I try to stay in the middle. Jean usually stays right and the other swimmers go wherever. There was a pretty good breeze and enough of a ripple on the water that I couldn’t see anyone else. Bill said he saw me just before and I was on his left, then all of a sudden we hit. Just like other geeks who try to make something good from an unpleasant experience, I hope I didn’t hurt his fist with my nose. Actually it was his forearm but it was my nose. I was sneezing a lot anyway so it’s good punishment for a nose that betrayed me.

Better cut this one off early. This morning’s run was 120 minutes (over 12 miles) and this afternoon we have to do an additional 30 minutes. On the plus side, it feels better to run than sit on a bike seat.

Just (Anxious For The Race To Start) Jack

 I never said I was very smart and I’ve proven it over the last few years by doing triathlons, especially long course triathlons. This couple of weeks are the hardest in the Multi-Sports training program for Ironman Wisconsin. The Saturday ride was 4 to 5 hours (so we all know that sissies go 4 hours and studs go 5, right?…of course Jean went 6) at heart rate 2 followed by a 50 to 60 minute heart rate 2-3 run.

Larry and I decided to do the loop we did a couple of weeks ago which simulates the hills at Madison. It was a great day to ride and I follow Paul and Roch’s guidance by experimenting with what works nutritionally for me on long rides. I had been mixing Carbo Pro with Gatorade and carrying it in bottles that I carried in bottle cages on the bike. I would wash it down with Gatorade in my Camel Back (a plastic 50 ounce bladder filled with mold and mildew from previous rides). On the last long ride I would have to get a new bottle of the mixture for each loop and would fill the Camel Back every other loop.

I would mix the Carbo Pro in two bottles to provide enough calories for a 3.5 hour ride so it was “syrupy”. By the time I finished the rides in the past I would gag at the sight of Gatorade or anything else sweet. This time I decided to fill the Camel Back with enough Gatorade and Carbo Pro for a 5 hour ride and I washed it down with water, hence not overdoing the sweets. Each loop was a little over 30 miles and each time I would stop back at the car and get two more bottles of water. At 5 hours I had consumed all of the Gatorade (48 ounces…300 calories), the Carbo Pro (12 measuring spoons…1,344 calories) and 6 bottles (20 ounces each) of water.

When it got time for the run I could tell I was not in great shape and only ran 33 minutes. I was weak and nauseous and starting to feel light headed. It took me a few minutes to figure out that I had consumed plenty of calories and plenty of fluids but very few electrolytes. This is the time that Mr. Wizard (most of you are too young to know who that is) would come on the screen and tell you why you need electrolytes.

Without getting into the science of it all, I’m a fairly heavy sweater (not a cardigan type…a water pouring out of every pore type) and I lose a lot of salt, potassium, calcium, etc. that must be replaced. If you don’t replace them your muscles stop “firing” and you hit the wall. I know all that so why would I replace all the Gatorade (a good source of electrolytes) with water (almost no electrolytes) and not make it up with electrolyte supplements (Succeed Capsules or Endurolytes that I have in my cupboard)? Dumb!

I’ve been whining about a sore butt from my bike seat for so long everyone’s eyes just roll back in their heads and they start daydreaming about anything else while I repeat the same old story. So here we are 5 weeks from the race and I need to do something about that bike seat. I haven’t felt this uncomfortable since the diaper rash epidemic of ’46/’47. I asked Jean last night if her collarbone was healed enough so she could hold the chair cushion down while I took a rope and tied it to my “Terry Liberator” seat from hell (sorry Mom, seat from heck) for comfort. She just laughed at me.

So everyone who has ever done a Triathlon will tell you “NEVER CHANGE ANYTHING RIGHT BEFORE A RACE”. But at this point I could put a rose bush where the seat should be and it couldn’t feel much worse so I plan to try a new seat this week. If I can’t find one right away, I’ll suffer with the old one but I think I should be able to get comfortable with a new seat in 5 weeks. Dumb!

So today’s long run was 180 minutes split between 140 minutes this morning and 40 minutes late this afternoon. Roch and Paul say the thought behind the split is to get the mileage in while allowing time for some recovery to minimize injury. I got out at 7 this morning so I had finished by 9:25 (5 minutes to change out my Gatorade bottle at the cottage at the halfway point). It was more humid than I had thought and, being the whiner that I am, I was sore from nipple rub. Men shouldn’t have those things anyway…they serve no useful purpose and I usually don’t have a problem except on humid days when I sweat a lot.

I went out for my afternoon run at around 4:30 and had a nice easy run at 9:29 pace. The problem was that the nipple rub started just when I got far enough away from the cottage to not turn back. It had only been 7 hours since the last fiasco and I have plenty of Body Glide or Vaseline to rub on them and stop the abrasion. So am I going brain dead or what? Dumb!

I better get my head in the game or Ironman Wisconsin will be another near drowning, followed by a near bike wreck followed by a 26.2 mile walk. Not the way I’d like to do it.

Just (Killed Too Many Brain Cells By Partying) Jack

 This week’s e-mail is late getting out due to the Trilanders Triathlon Camp at Mike Dimond’s mother’s place at Torch Lake. We had a great time and got in some good swims, bikes and runs in between relaxing on the deck and testing the temperature of Bell’s Oberon from the cooler. Thanks to Mike and Diane for putting up with us all weekend.

Jean and I went up a little early and had a nice visit with my Aunt and Uncle at Bass Lake where I took a quick trip down memory lane. I told Jean the same stories I always tell her when we stop by the cottage and she pretended to have heard them for the first time. We met Bill, Nancy, Larry and Becky at the brew pub in Traverse City for dinner.

It was difficult for me to follow the conversations since, as many of you know, I don’t hear very well with a lot of background noise. Anyway, we talked about the recent testosterone scandal at the Tour de France and Bill was telling a story about Tyler Hamilton and his wife being interviewed about his controlled substance ban from cycling for a period of time. Bill said Tyler’s wife answered most of the questions and said things like “we’ll be starting training soon” and “we plan to do quite a few more races”, but she doesn’t ride and Tyler will be doing all those things himself.

Just then Becky looked directly at Bill and said “That’s like saying WE’RE PREGNANT”. I don’t know why she looked at Bill when she said that and it’s none of my business what they do on their own time, so I won’t ask. All weekend we made comments about Becky “eating for two” and “she should be careful riding in her condition”. She protested early on that she wasn’t really pregnant, but what’s said is said and I’ll leave it at that.

So if that isn’t enough of a surprise I had a horrible experience at the fitness center the day before we left. I had run a “stepped up pace” six miler that morning, was hot and sweaty when I got home, and I couldn’t get the sweat machine stopped. I took a cool shower, dried off, and was soaked by the time I got my clothes on. I went to the fitness center and my clothes looked like I walked there in a downpour.

There was a guy about 70 in the locker room and I heard one of the toilets flush before another guy about the same age came in from the bathroom section. He asked me how the water was so I guess he thought I had been swimming. He sat down on the bench and changed into workout clothes or so I thought. When he stripped down to nothing but a smile I noticed something dark on his “backside”. I learned at an early age not to look down in a men’s locker room, but sometimes you just can’t help it.

Here comes the gross part so women and children should leave the room. When he got up I noticed that, apparently he had forgotten to use toilet paper and he left a “smeared calling card” on the wood bench. I’m not very proud of my reaction because I didn’t say a thing. I should have confronted him but I was flabbergasted (is that a word?) and I didn’t want to embarrass him so I didn’t. I went out to the front desk, asked to talk to the director, and explained what had happened. She immediately called maintenance to get someone there to clean and disinfect.

That’s exactly the way it should happen. What I’m not proud of is that about half an hour later (I’m a slow learner) it dawned on me that when he asked me how the water was, he was probably going to the pool. By then it was too late to do anything about it and I kick myself for not catching on a little quicker. In my own defense I have lived almost 60 years and I’ve never run into anyone who “forgot to wipe” that wasn’t under two years old or over 59 years, 8 months and 2 days old and in a medical care facility. I know I complain about not being able to swim in a pool, but thank God for chlorine.

Jean’s progress…she rode her bike on the roads for the first time this past weekend and everything went well. After a 45 miler ride around Torch Lake Saturday, Jean, Bill and I went out for a short ride on Sunday afternoon just to loosen the legs. Bill dropped off at 25 minutes since we had talked about only going for an hour. I led to the next stop sign and Jean and I turned around at 45 minutes. I told Jean to lead back and she took off. It was all I could do to keep up with her and she was holding herself back. She has been running without the towel under her arm and she actually swam Wednesday morning so she’s “almost back”. With her persistence on the bike trainer and aqua-jogging, I don’t think she’s lost much and will still “kick my behind” in five and half weeks at IM Wisconsin.

I went to two funerals this week and both people were way too young…one was 65 and the other 63.

Just (Shoot Me When I Forget To Wipe) Jack

 There are two different kinds of recovery. Jean seems to be recovering nicely from her broken collar bone. Maybe she’s just telling me what she wants me to hear, but she doesn’t seem to be over doing it. She runs with a towel under her left arm. I’m not sure of the science of that, but she says it helps her keep her arm tight to her side. Whatever works!

She hasn’t been water jogging lately, probably because she’s running on the roads so I know (or I think I know) she hasn’t tried swimming yet. Swimming may be the hardest discipline for her to get back into. She said she rode the bike trainer for 3 hours yesterday and just about went crazy. She plays an oldies CD with some fifties music (the 1950s…you don’t have to be in your fifties to listen to it) and I’m sure she hears it over and over and over and over and over and over and…you get the picture.

The other kind of recovery is from last week’s half ironman race at Muncie. I know I said it would just be another training weekend for me and I really didn’t push it as hard as if it were my “A race” for the season. But I’ve needed a little more recovery than I thought. I had planned to get right back into my normal training program and I noticed my “recovery swim” on Monday morning tired me out. I only did 2400 yards where I normally would do an easy 3600. The turbo trainer on Tuesday was an hour and 54 minutes followed by a 50 minute transition run. I was whipped the rest of the day.

Wednesday I did a “kicked up swim” and managed only 3000 yards before I ran out of gas. Thursday’s run was an 8.5 miler at a little faster than race pace. Friday was another 3600 yard swim that fatigued me early and then came Saturday. Larry was doing a “race rehearsal” and my schedule called for a 300 to 360 minute heart rate 1 or 2 bike followed by a 30 minute run. Larry set up a loop for us from Delton Middle School through the south end of the county, into Allegan County and back to the school. Each loop was 30.4 miles and he planned on doing it 4 times.

I knew I would probably not do the full 4th loop and I was right. I fatigued early in the third loop and cut out a 2.5 mile out and back. After 86.5 miles I was whipped and didn’t even start the 4th. I did run the 30 minute transition and felt surprisingly strong. The ride was hilly like the Ironman Wisconsin course, but I could tell early on that I hadn’t recovered enough from Muncie and I shouldn’t push myself just to say I did it 4 times. My run this morning was 11.4 miles and I was whipped after that one too. Oh I ran well and my legs were strong, but my arms were tired from waving at all the deer flies.

Since we didn’t have a running group run this morning, there was no catered food waiting for me at the end, so I went down to the local greasy spoon (literally…in Delton they give you a greasy spoon, fork, glass and plate) and had the meat lovers omelet. After working for just shy of two hours cleaning that sludge out of my veins, I put it right back. I knew I needed to get energy back into my system. Good intention…bad result.

Congratulations to all the Trilanders who did the Great Lakes Triathlon yesterday. I hope all had fun and it looks like all stayed out of the medical tent which, for our group, is a victory.

Just (Geezers Need More Recovery Time) Jack

 Yesterday (Saturday the 15th) Diane, Bill, Larry, Martin, Paul and I did the Muncie Endurathon, a half ironman (for you non-triathletes it’s a 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike and a 13.1 mile run). Word is that one of the swim buoys drifted from its anchor making it a longer swim than 1.2 miles and my bike odometer and Martin’s GPS measured the bike at 54.49 miles so I guess it all works out.

The water was 80 degrees and, accordingly, no wet suits were allowed so that, coupled with the longer distance, made the times higher than they would normally be. As has been the history of my races since the bike wreck, my swim was at least 10 minutes slower than I swam in the past. I have had my swim stroke reviewed by Olympic swim coaches and they all say that I have developed “swim suckitis”, a non-fatal but debilitating illness that only affects swim times. The rest of the group all came out of the water within a couple of minutes of each other.

The bike course was flat and fast. Except for the last five or six miles it was on smooth roads without much wind. The bike times were all good with me bringing up the rear as usual. Larry had a close call when he dropped a water bottle from his front carrier which went through his wheel, sheared off his stem extension and flatted his tire. As luck would have it, he was within a few yards of an aid station. One of the guys helped him take out the broken piece with a jack knife and Larry just happened to have a spare in his bag. He put it on, blew up the tire with a CO2 cartridge and away he went only losing about 5 minutes.

The run was a different story. the temperature was anywhere from 89 to 94 depending on who you asked and it made the run a suffer-o-rama. I’ve never seen so many people walking in that kind of race and I, not wanting to be left out, walked some too. Larry ran the entire run, Bill ran most of it and walked a few of the hills, and Diane went to a walk run mode where she would run at a good pace until she couldn’t any more, then walk until she felt good enough to run, then repeat. Martin is in his early training for Ironman Florida and didn’t want to overdo it, so he walked some too.

Paul ran out of gas and I caught up with him. We ran for a while and walked through the aid stations until I got nauseous around the 9th mile. By the 11th mile I felt better and we ran the last two miles at around a 9 minute mile pace and felt great. All recovered quickly and no one visited the medical tent, so we marked it down as a success.

I did the race as a training day for IM Wisconsin and learned a couple of things. 1) When I came out of the swim I knew it was a horrible swim even for me and I had a really bad attitude. I got on the bike and within the first mile I started talking to myself. I said “Jack (I know my real name is John, but I know myself as Jack), so you were 10 minutes slower than you thought you would be. It’s a 6 hour race at best so get over it. Don’t let it ruin the rest of your day. Get in the game and have fun”, so I did. 2) When you get in trouble as I was on the run with nausea, think about it and try to figure out what you did to get you there and what you can do to get yourself back. That worked too so I look at the race as a valuable experience.

I will admit that halfway through the run I was thinking about how I could get on the internet Sunday morning, cancel my entry to Ironman Wisconsin, and at least get $150.00 of my entry fee back. I have until July 31st to do that, but as of now, it’s not an option.

Short e-mail today ‘cuz the computer room is hot.

Just (Why Didn’t I Use Sun Screen Yesterday–OUCH!!) Jack