I’m ready for the “big dance” to start. It’s not that I’m sick of training, and I know in that the last six weeks we all go through lots of different emotions like “Why in the world did I sign up for this race?” or “I wish I had trained a little bit harder a little bit earlier”, or “I’m so sick of training I just want to get it over with”. But none of those have crossed my mind.

I told Gary Ivinskas, when he brought me a house warming gift of 6 Labatts Blue and, yes, we did sample them, that I get angry sometimes when I think that the bike wreck screwed me out of the fun. Yes, 14 or 15 hours of all out physical effort is fun, but it’s more than that. It’s the fun of riding through Verona at the halfway point on the bike when thousands of people are cheering you on. It’s the fun of riding up the toughest hill with a guy dressed like the devil chasing you. It’s the fun of going up a tough hill with crowds lining the bike path like you see on the Tour de France. It’s the fun of running with several different people over the 26.2 miles and talking about everything and anything. It’s the fun of crossing the finish line with your friends there waiting and talking non-stop about all the things that happened to you and to others in your view of the race.

So that’s what I’m looking forward to. I’m not going to win my age division unless all of the other guys get a last minute stomach virus and, even then, they would probably beat me. I’m not going to qualify for Kona, ever. But the fun is the race. To me, these other things are all secondary and not very important.

Becky, Jenifer, Len and Elaine all came out Friday evening to see the cottage and talk. It’s great to have friends around. Bill and Nancy didn’t stop by since they are on a short camping vacation on the Leelanau Peninsula. I think the real reason they left town is so Bill didn’t make the Sunday e-mail with one of his off-the-wall quips.

Len and Elaine talked about their recent trip to the finger lakes region of New York. They had a wonderful time and left late in the afternoon to come home. They hadn’t made reservations anywhere so they drove on to Hamilton, Ontario where they found a motel. Elaine says they should have known they shouldn’t stay there when they didn’t see any cars. They got up to their room and thought they would watch TV for a few minutes before going to sleep. They tried all the channels, but the only one that came in at all was channel 22. Len said, and I quote, “Look hon, they’re doing what we used to do”. It was a porn channel. Our guess is that the rooms rented by the hour and the first shift had already left.

So my thoughts went directly to Bill and Nancy when they drove back from Lake Placid. Bill says they got off the expressway and stayed in Hamilton, Ontario for the night. Bill’s comment to me was, and again I quote, “The motel was a little more expensive than I had planned, but it was worth every penny”. I won’t say he ever mentioned channel 22, but we all know my memory still needs a little work, so I’m not saying he didn’t. You be the judge.

This weekend is the longest training weekend of the whole 24 weeks, or is it next weekend? The long ride yesterday was supposed to be between 5 and 6 hours followed by a 50-60 minute run. My ride was 6:15 and I felt great other than a sore butt and a really sore big toe. My legs felt fresh when I started running, but at 21 minutes I got a little light-headed so I stopped and walked. I started feeling better and ran the last 10  minutes home but had a bad headache afterwards. I’ve been having headaches after hard workouts, but the doctor says that may be from the accident still, so we will be keeping an eye on them. I’ve learned to listen to my body and stop training when something unusual happens other than just being tired.

Today’s run was 140 minutes this morning and another 40 minutes late this afternoon. By splitting the long run day, you can get the long miles in but you leave enough time in the middle for the body to recover some. I’m not looking forward to that last 40 minutes but it’s part of the training and I’ll have all winter to rest.

By the way, I’ve decided to go to Kona with Jean. I thought about it a lot on the ride yesterday and I think it’s more important to be there to support Jean than to worry about my difficulty in watching her race. I’ve taken some good advice. Thanks, Jen.

Just (On The Road Again) Jack

 Week 18 is history and I’m in the home stretch on this training schedule. Many of you know, as one of my “tune-up races”, I did the Steelhead Half Ironman in Benton Harbor/St. Joseph yesterday. There were several reasons I decided to do that particular race. I grew up in St. Joe (age 11 through high school graduation) so it was old home weekend (sort of….everything has changed). Also, I needed to know I could “go long” and a 6 hour race lets you know that. I finished so I guess I proved that part.

But the main reason was to test fitness level, nutrition and hydration so see that everything is where it should be. Hence the title this week, back to the drawing board. One of the cardinal rules in any race is “Don’t try anything new on race day”. So naturally, since I knew it would be a hot humid day, I took several Endurolytes before and during the race. They are electrolyte replacement capsules that help replace the salt, potassium, calcium, etc. that are sweated out during the race and I hadn’t taken any in a couple of years.

For the first time in at least two years I was “pukey” feeling on the bike and run. I also used too much Carbo Pro too soon in a too concentrated form. For the entire bike I felt bloated and nothing was emptying from my stomach and getting absorbed. Consequently I became dehydrated going into the run. The run started with an 11% grade hill in the first mile (it was at Rocky Gap Park where we used to have beach beer parties my senior year of high school so I’m sure it was payback). After mile three the run went through an old industrial area, over the bridge to St. Joe, over two more bridges to Benton Harbor, an out and back along the St. Joe River, an out and back down Main Street, and back to the start at Jean Klock Park. None of those 10 miles had any shade and by then it was around 83 degrees without a cloud in the sky.

I make it sound like a dismal race for me and it wasn’t. I did as well as I could for the conditions. The run was hot and, other than the aid stations where everyone walks through, I walked about 400 yards (the two uphills on the bridges coming back from Benton Harbor to St. Joe plus a short walk to get out and take another endurolyte capsule). My total time was 6:08:49 and consisted of a 44:17 swim, 5:45 transition, 2:54:28 bike, 2:37 transition, and a 2:21:42 run. I can’t compare the times to any other race because each venue is different.

So now in the next 6 weeks I need to work on the nutrition part of the race. Going into Madison I want to do everything I can that works for me. That won’t necessarily mean a perfect race there either, but I’ll feel like I’ve done all I could to make it work.

I may need to work on my pre-race mental state as well. Bill, Nancy and Becky came over Friday night before the race for pizza and wine. I only had a glass or two, but the conversation turned from a nice genteel discussion of how to decorate MY HOUSE, to a repeat of Bill’s comment on the male way to decrease prostate problems, to a discussion of one of Jean’s classmates who used to work at the Algonquin store and, for fun, would help a male Chihuahua reach climax, to a discussion of Becky’s dog breeding business where she used to do the same thing to get rid of the old sperm before a breeding session (not her’s, the dog’s).

Saturday evening was spent at an outdoor restaurant with Gary Ivinskas, Jean, Becky and one of my high school friends, Skip, and his wife. That conversation turned to the time, before Jean and I were married, that we went down to St. Joe with another couple to charter a fishing boat. We met Skip at the Elks club and proceeded to drink a little more than we should. I woke up the next morning with a terrible hangover and, since Jean and I weren’t married, I was sleeping alone on the bench where you sit down to take off your shoes, naked, with Jean’s sweater wrapped around my neck (just joking Mom).

So my pre-race focus and planning were out the window. It did take my mind off the fear of the race and the bad spots in the road but it didn’t help me organize. Jean and Becky both noticed that I have difficulty focusing on tasks after the bike accident. That will (I hope) get better with time. During my set-up at the race it took me a long time to arrange the bike and run paraphernalia. Eventually I remembered everything (the swim cap was located at the last minute) except my heart rate monitor. I remembered that on the shuttle ride to the North Pier where the swim started.

By now most of you know that Jean had a good race at Lake Placid and qualified for the World Championships at Hawaii in October. She has the support of a lot of people and will continue to train for that one after a recovery week off.

Just (Nose to the Grindstone on Nutrition/Hydration) Jack

It’s Jean’s race day at Ironman USA, Lake Placid. She’s out of the swim, but that’s the only race report I’ve seen up until now. I’m on pins and needles because, as I found out, anything can happen in an instant.

Have you ever had one of those days where the conditions are near perfect, and you expect things to go well, only to find out that it just isn’t your day? Yesterday’s (Saturday) bike ride started out in near perfect weather. Other than a little wind, which I’ve become accustomed to, it was great riding weather. Sunny but on the coolish side. I rode from Delton to Hastings, made the turn on Chief Noonday (M-179) west, and headed for Hopkins. My plan was to ride to the stone house (see prior e-mails for description), turn around and come back.

The ride was a 4 1/2 to 5 1/2 hour HR2 ride so it would be around 90 miles. 58 minutes into the ride I had a flat tire. The tire was a brand new one so I wasn’t happy. I could feel the air on my leg escaping from the tube, so I knew it wasn’t just a pin prick. There were two holes in the tube and tire about a centimeter apart, so it was a textbook pinch flat. The tire had exposed fiberglass fibers in the two holes, so I had to use a repair patch for the tire itself so it didn’t wreck the spare tube.

Things went from bad to worse (at least in my mind). I had just passed the Shell station when I heard a siren so I stopped and let a State Police car pass. A couple of minutes later two more State Police cars went by with their sirens and lights on. I stopped again and watched them as they turned down Payne Lake Road.

All of a sudden I had this feeling that there had been a car/bike accident at the Great Lakes Triathlon. My mind churned, as it has since the wreck of ’03, and I convinced myself that Diane was in it and it was really bad. Only last evening when I talked to Diane about where the Sunday run was did I find out that there really was a car/bike accident and that Diane was in it. There are some pretty nasty scrapes and bruises, but Diane is fine. Her brand new Zipp front wheel is now only good for riding around corners.

Later on the ride I dropped my chain twice while shifting from the big chain ring to the small chain ring half way up hills. The second time, the chain wrapped itself around the rear axle before I could stop pedaling so it took some time to “unkink” it. I took a turn up 18th Street (or is it 18th Avenue?) and went into Wayland from that direction. Of course, Wayland is having sidewalk sales and the downtown streets are all blocked off so I detoured through the town.

As I finished the bike ride, I was going through the hills into Cloverdale and I noticed it was hard riding up the hills. I knew it was around 85 miles at that point, but my nutrition had been good and I was well enough hydrated to stop and pee at the stream on 18th street, so I shouldn’t be that tired. After about the fifth hard hill, I looked down and I was in the hardest gear on the cassette. I looked at the shifter and it was in the easiest gear for the cassette. It only took me a milli-second to realize I had broken my rear shifter cable.

I went through my list of names on my cell phone. Half were out of town, and the other half probably had caller I.D. and didn’t want to leave their easy chairs, so no one answered. I started to walk the six miles home when I realized it would be easier to ride the bike in a hard gear and walk it up hills if I had to, so I rode it on home. My legs were spent when I got there, but not enough to keep me from running a 50 minute transition run.

I ran with Diane, Laura, Jon, Paul and Pat on the Sunday long run. They did around 8 miles. My run was supposed to be 120 to 135 minutes, but I switched it with last week’s 105 to 120 minutes. We stopped for water at 44 minutes and I never restarted my watch so I don’t know how long or far I went, but I think around 10 or 11 miles. As usual, Pat was talking on Ryan Road (or was it Hammond?) and I wasn’t catching everything, but he talked about someone he knows being happy about being single. He went on to say that dating Miss America is cheaper and easier and held up his right hand.

I didn’t know what he was talking about so I said “…and her sister” as I held up my left hand. He laughed and said “That’s sick”. I don’t know what he meant so I’m completely in the dark. Let your imagination go and, if you come up with something, fill me in.

Seven weeks to the thriller.

Just (Hoping Jean Has a Good Race) Jack

 The race is nine weeks away, but who’s counting the days? This week was a recovery week, so everything was a little less intense and a little shorter. Now I go into five weeks of “tough”. Next week is the Ironman camp at Madison with Multisports, the week after is an intense Ironman specific week (and the weekend of Jean’s race-GO JEAN), and the week after is the Steelhead Half Ironman back in my “so-called” home town of St. Joseph. The following two weeks are the longest bikes and longest runs in the 24 week program.

We moved to St. Joe in between my 6th and 7th grades, moved away right after I graduated from high school and I haven’t really been back much since. I’ve always called it the town I grew up in, but when I went to my 40th class reunion last night, I didn’t know anyone. Jean and I spent $80 for hors- d’ouvres and left after an hour. Out of 280+ kids there were 50 or so there. Most of them had been at each reunion thus far and knew everyone else.

Not only did I not know them by sight, I would look at the name tags and the names didn’t ring any bells. As always, people seemed to congregate around the jocks, the cheerleaders and the homecoming queen. I wasn’t a high school jock and, luckily, I wasn’t a cheerleader or queen either. As I told Jean on the elevator out of the yacht club, at least we didn’t have to block out our calendar 10 years from now for “The Big 50th”.

Yesterday Bill, Larry and I went for a recovery ride. It was supposed to be at heart rate 1 but I couldn’t keep it there. We did the same route as last week, only 20 minutes longer, and I was still in HR 2 most of the time. Some of the hills got me into high HR 3.

Shortly into the ride, somehow the conversation went from “I thought there was a restaurant in Banfield”, to “There was a great restaurant at Gilkey Lake called the Gilkey Lake Tavern”, to “Remember when they turned that place into a topless joint?”. Bill complained a little about being the “center subject” of the last couple of e-mails and was afraid the students at Lakewood would get the wrong impression of him. So when the conversation went to “The dancers there were the rejects from all the topless bars in Kalamazoo, Battle Creek and Lansing”, and “Yeah, instead of having 38-Ds they were 42-Longs”, I promised I wouldn’t say who said what. OK, Bill? You’re welcome.

Bill tells me he has been asked several times if the statement about ejaculating 21 times a month to minimize prostate problems was true. I think some of the questions are from men who want to tape a printed copy of the article to their wife’s pillow, and some are from wives who want to burn the article before their husbands see it. At any rate, ask Bill. I’m only the messenger.

Larry kept stopping on the ride yesterday at the side of the road. I counted four times but it could have been more. Larry, being a retired Navy pilot and current Delton Middle School teacher, couldn’t have been relieving himself because public urination is against the law, and I’m sure he wants to continue to be a role model to his own kids and students. I finally figured out that he must be rinsing the dust and bugs from his bike shoes with a rinse bottle because there was a stream of water each time. I asked him if that’s what he was doing as I passed him and he said yes, so I know it’s the truth.

Better go. It’s warm and the beach needs raking.

Just (Ready to Get It Over With) Jack

 Training continues. With ten weeks to go, I’m getting into the nitty gritty of Ironman specific training. The bike rides are getting longer on the long easy ride days and harder and more intense on the shorter ride days. The runs are getting longer on the long easy run days and harder and more intense on the shorter run days. Sound like a pattern to you? The swims are still at Diane’s Monday, Wednesday and Friday. The group starts anywhere from 5:45 to 6. That’s AM, not PM and, yes, it is light by then. The hardest thing about the swims is keeping from being lulled into a trance and bumping into someone else, head to head. The near misses are up to 67 and climbing.

The Saturday ride was shorter this week, only 3 hours, but the intensity was at heart rate 3 (as fast as you can go and still maintain the speed). Since Larry’s family was in Florida, and Terry said Larry needed a babysitter, we rode together. I was used to riding the higher intensity rides alone so I could go my own pace. What I found was that since Larry is a faster biker than me, he was there to push me a little when I got tired. Actually, push is just an expression since Larry was ahead of me the last half. But he did provide the incentive to not just get complacent and ride easy. So, Bill, I take it all back.

The run from Diane’s was a soaker. The rain came down the first half and it became so humid, it was like it was raining back up to the sky the second half. I did the 13.5 mile loop but made a slight miscalculation. The water was at mile 4+ on my route. That meant I did the last 9+ miles on one bottle of water and it wasn’t enough. I should have run back to the water jug at mile 10 or 11, filled up, continued on to 13.5 and walked in the rest of the way. Sounds smart now and never entered my head when it really counted. I’m learning all over again. I know all these things, but when I’m out there in the heat of battle, they don’t click in like they used to.

You riders that have done the 24 hour challenge route know that Mud Lake Road is famous for its dogs. We were riding along, Larry in the lead, when a white dog came out of a yard with a gate open. He got to the end of the driveway, stopped on a dime, and yelped. Apparently he has a shock collar and there is an underground electronic fence. I could see Larry chuckling when, all of a sudden, that big dog that looks like Lassie on steroids came out into the road from the other side and almost got him. I was behind so I had to stop, stare the dog down (like my friend Buddy, remember?), and ride by slowly with one foot out of the clips and my hand on the pepper spray.

A friend, I won’t mention his name, years ago told me that when he ran, he was pestered by a dog that would come out and try to bite him. He talked to the owner several times to no avail. The last time the dog came out to get him, he dropped a piece of raw hamburger with a pill inside that causes what appears to be a heart attack. The dog never bothered him or anyone else again. I was wishing I had one of those pills today. You all know I love animals, and I believe the owners are at fault for not restraining the dogs, so I would have wrapped the pill in a bottle of Bud Light. Actually, I wouldn’t do that either, but dogs chasing bikes makes me mad.

Jean, having three weeks until her race at Ironman USA, Lake Placid, is starting her taper. The length of her training is shorter, but the intensity remains high. She continues to be strong and remains injury free other than the two year old toe injury that she should have had fixed last fall/winter but didn’t, but I won’t comment on that. Lest you think she didn’t because she was babysitting me after the bike wreck, remember I spent almost the entire winter alone in Florida.

You bike riders and runners know that some of the strangest conversations come out of a long ride or long run. On one of our recent rides, my training buddy Bill rode up along side of me and said “I just read an article that said men could lessen the risk of prostate problems by ejaculating 21 times a month”. First of all, he didn’t say whether he read the article in the Journal of American Medicine or the most recent issue of Penthouse (he says he reads that one just for the articles, honest!). Second of all, I couldn’t imagine what made him offer that little tidbit and where the conversation was headed.

I asked him if the article described the subjects as having sex each month with 21 different 56 year old post-menopausal women or one 30 year old divorcee with no children. He quipped back with something about “manual self-actualization”. I made a remark about that way not being as much fun as when I was 15 and the conversation was immediately over.

I had always thought that older men dropping their spouses of 30 years and hooking up with younger women was just a mid-life crisis reaction. Instead, it appears it is solely for prostate health reasons, and we all want to continue to do things that promote good health and fitness as long as we are able, right?

And now, what you have all been waiting for, the results of last week’s question:

    Those who thought I should have told the woman at Wal-Mart about the Hot Wheels car that didn’t get rung up – 0

    Those who thought I should have told the cashier at Wal-Mart about the Hot Wheels car that didn’t get rung up – 0

    Those who thought I should mind my own @#%*& business – 0

    Those who thought it was the stupidest question they had ever been asked – ALL

OK. It doesn’t mean I won’t conduct any more polls, but I’ll try to make them interesting, and not sleep inducing.

Adios for another week,

Just (God Bless Our Independence, But Enough of the Fireworks Already) Jack

 11 weeks to go ’til “the big one” so I’m on the downhill side of the 24 weeks of training. The cold symptoms are pretty well gone, although the snot rocket count on my rides and runs is at a record high.

Sunday’s long run was from the cottage at Crooked Lake. Diane is still grousing a little because she is in a recovery week and I told her the run was around the lake and flat. I meant “Barry County flat”. The hills aren’t steep, but they’re long and there are lots of them.

I apologize for the confusion about the water stop. On the printed map it said it was at Oak Drive, and I highlighted that spot with an arrow. I told everyone, when I explained the map, the water was at the stop sign at Oak Drive. As we walked out the door, I announced to everyone the water was at Oak Drive at the stop sign. For some reason, the directionally challenged lead group thought I may have said Peninsular Drive since they sound so much alike. Anyway, they missed the water stop at 5.5 miles. Sorry!

As smart as I always think I am, I’m embarrassed to admit that Saturday’s long bike ride was a nutritional meltdown. I should attend one of those meetings with all the other nutritional backsliders where I stand up and say “My name is Jack and I don’t know how to eat on a long bike ride”.

Jean and I went with Bill and Nancy Bradley to Striders in G.R. and Gazelle’s in Holland Friday looking for tri suits. Instead, the trip turned into two hours of agony watching Jean try on every running shoe in both stores and not buy anything. We all decided to drown our sorrows in a vat of beer so we went to the brewery in Holland. Actually, we each only had one (glass, not vat) except “Nancy the Lush” had two glasses of wine ‘cuz she wasn’t going on a long bike ride the next day. Bill and I talked about the Saturday ride and what we needed to bring for nourishment. He wanted to go between three and four hours, and I needed to go between five and six. I won’t bore you with all the details, but suffice it to say that six scoops of CarboPro along with one scoop of Gatorade in 26 ounces of water, 40 ounces of Gatorade in a camelback, and nine figs will not take a 185 lb. man one minute longer than 5:23:55.

So did I take the second six scoops of CarboPro to mix when the first bottle is gone as I intended? No. Did I take any of the HammerGel that I knew agreed with my stomach and I would need on the bike as I told Bill, Nancy and Jean the night before? No. Did I stop at the Gun Lake Shell station and refill the camelback knowing I couldn’t make a long bike on 40 ounces of Gatorade? No. Did I use any of the PowerGels I had purchased the night before? No. To not belabor the point, I need to write these things down and use the checklist on my way out the door. I guess I don’t want to face the fact that after the bike dive of ’03, I can’t remember things like I used to.

While we were in Holland, we went into a store that specialized in furnishings for cabins and cottages. Much of the furniture was made from Red Cedar and was quite unique. Bill and I walked by a stuffed Raccoon that had one of his paws in a box of Cracker Jacks. He couldn’t help but make a comment about the chipmunk idea from last week’s e-mail. So all day long on the Saturday ride, he was evaluating whether the “road kill” raccoons and ‘possums were in good enough shape to be used for my cottage decorations. He’s as sick as I am.

So after last week’s chipmunk weirdness, here’s a thought-provoker. You all know me as Mr. Straight Arrow (no, I’m not having my name changed). But this week I have a real conundrum (is that really a word? It sounds so Junior High funny). I’m not a shopper, but since I bought the cottage, I think I’ve been in every store in Michigan at least twice.

Last Monday I was in Wal-Mart, “where America shops”, at around 9 A.M. when the geezers are having their free coffee at McDonalds so it wasn’t very busy. We don’t want to go into shopping experiences, because they would make a book unto themselves, but I saw some of the largest people I’ve ever seen in Barry County at that store. I checked out at the only register open and was behind a young mother with a child in the “jump seat” and a cart full of kid crap. She shoveled everything out so it could be scanned while her child extended his eight arms and legs and was into everything.

The checker ran everything through the computer and came up with a total that the mother either charged or wrote a rubber check for. As I stood there, I noticed that there was a “Hot Wheels” car still in the cart, but under the child. The mother didn’t catch it and the checker didn’t either. So here’s question number 27 from this series of e-mails. Should I have pointed out to the mother and/or the clerk that the Hot Wheels car was stuck in the cart and didn’t get paid for?

On the one hand, if I had gotten home and found I hadn’t paid for something, I know I would have gone back to the store and paid the $1.29 so the store didn’t get cheated out of its sale, even if it cost me $2.00 for gas. But, on the other hand, stores have been very bad about having the correct prices in their computers, and this oversight would surely have been offset by that woman or other customers being overcharged for what they bought.

So, what did I do? And what should I have done? Instead of sending your answers to http://www.whocares.com/ as usual, please send them to me and I will forward them to the National “What’s Right” Clearing House.

Ta Ta – 13 down and 11 to go,

Just (Hiring a Dietitian) Jack

 12 weeks down, 12 weeks to go. Sometimes it seems like I just got started and sometimes it feels like I’ve been on the training schedule forever.

I did my first triathlon since the wreck of ’03. I’m Baaaaaack!! I still have the remnants of this cold with a cough that sounds like the seals barking for fish at Sea World. I was up-tight all week about the possibility of freezing at the bike start. I didn’t think I would but there’s always that nagging feeling that the demon may still be lurking. I didn’t feel apprehensive at the swim start and didn’t even think about the wreck; well, not a lot anyway. Last year I finished first in my age group; this year fourth. Sounds like a real backslide, but last year the big guns were at other races and this year they were all back.

I got beat up a little on the swim as happens occasionally to everyone. I couldn’t get away from the crowds and got hit pretty hard four times in the head, kicked twice pretty hard with frog kicks around the buoys and lots of other bumps. The transitions were slow and deliberate, but in the reasonable range. I pushed the bike pretty hard but, with the strong North wind, didn’t break any speed records. I felt great on the run and kept the same pace the entire time. I finished with energy to spare so I did leave some out there. Last year 2:43:15. This year 2:47:58. Let’s blame it on the cold, OK?

One of the things that makes good athletes “good athletes” is the ability to focus on their sport. In triathlon, sometimes you need to focus for ten or more hours. I’m not training for ten hours at a crack yet, but have noticed that one of the things that makes me a mediocre athlete is the lack of my ability to focus and the propensity to let my mind wander on the long runs or long bikes.

Last weekend I was either running the 120 minute Sunday run or riding the Saturday 3 hour ride and I happened to notice a chipmunk was stuck to the pavement and had been flattened by a car. Normal road kill is smathered all over the road and, often, you can even tell what kind of animal it was. But not this chipmunk. It’s pelt was perfectly flattened and didn’t have a blemish on it. Of course, here’s where my mind wandered a bit. I thought what a shame it was to die like that and end up stuck to the tire of an old pickup truck.

Then I thought, as a perfect tribute, we could use the road kill skins to make fur cases for our cell phones. Chipmunks are exactly the right size for most cell phones. The pattern is pretty enough to be carried by a woman, but it’s the skin of an animal, so could be carried by us manly men (let’s not be offended by the connotation that historically the man is the hunter and the woman is the gatherer in our ancient civilization). You know I’m an animal lover so I don’t think killing chipmunks for fur is a good idea, but using road kill for something other than jokes about hillbilly meals sounds like a better place for their souls to go. Think about it and don’t laugh. It could be a moneymaker.

After one of my long rides I had turned the corner a block from the house and was riding on the correct side of the street with no traffic on my side. You other riders know that, invariably, some young guys yell at bicycle riders, mostly to scare them into losing control. Of course, one guy stuck his head out the window of his beater truck and said “GET A CAR” as loud as he could. It must be some mating ritual to impress their girlfriends. I like it when idiots make their presence known so I can stay as far away from them as possible.

Thursday I worked on anger management. The satellite installer was to come to the cottage “mid-morning” to hook up the dish and receivers. Not wanting to miss him I got up at 5:50 AM (had trouble getting to sleep-was still awake at 12:30 AM) and got out on my Thursday track run by 6:10. The schedule showed a 20 minute warm-up followed by a 30 minute HR-2 run with four 2 minute HR 3-4 fartleks followed by a 15 minute cool-down. For you non-runners it was a moderate pace run with some faster parts in the middle.

The schedule suggested doing it on trails (the run, not what you are thinking) so I did the Cook-Quimby-Broadway 7 mile loop and pushed up the hills. The cold is better but my lungs are quite congested, so breathing the heavy early morning air without sounding like I had escaped from the TB ward at the VA hospital wasn’t easy. I showered quickly and went to the cottage and waited. At 11 AM the installer called and said he would be there at 2 PM and I gave him directions. 2 PM came and went and his office finally called at 4:45. Apparently he had car trouble, didn’t have a spare tire, and could we reschedule for Friday at 10?

I, not so politely, told her my calendar was in Hastings and I didn’t know what was planned for Friday. I had waited there all day with no TV, no radio, waiting for someone who didn’t show up when originally planned and didn’t bother to call and keep me informed so I could do other things. So here’s the anger management improvement. I didn’t, sarcastically, ask if he had run over his phone which caused the flat and that’s why he didn’t call. Also, it was our 15th anniversary so later when Jean and I went out to dinner, I waited until the third time before I asked her to stop kicking me in the shins; it was my leg and not the table leg. I think I’m improving.

Ta Ta for another week,

Just (Back But Running on 7 Cylinders) Jack

 Every third week is a recovery week and I’m ready for this one coming up. For some reason I’m in a “blue funk”. I don’t know whether it’s overtraining, a lack of sleep (been bad since the accident), this never-ending rain, a ton of things to do at the cottage, or a combination of all four. For the first time in a year and a half on the Multisports training program I’ve skipped one of the bold workouts. My Thursday track workout was on a rainy day and I just couldn’t muster the strength to do it. Bad boy! But then again, the coaches all say when your body tells you it’s tired, LISTEN TO IT.

Update-I wrote the above paragraph on Saturday. On Sunday morning I awoke with a cold that Jean has had and was kind enough to share with me. One night last week she rolled over and I could feel her hot breath on my arm. I thought maybe she was up for a little middle of the night adventure, but when she snored I knew it was not to be. Little did I know she was making it so the cold bugs didn’t have to jump as far.

The Saturday bike ride was a disaster but I felt great on the 50 minute transition run. It started out by raining when I was ready to go so I had to wait around a while. I’m not a good “waiter”. I had mixed some CarboPro and Gatorade for some needed carbs on the 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 hour heart rate 2 to 3 bike. When I filled the aero bottle on my bike, some of it leaked back into my bike computer. I was riding out to the 24 hour challenge route, looked at the computer, and it said I was doing 27 mph on airport road going across the river. On the uphill right after that it said I was also doing 27 so I knew it was acting funny. It had me going anywhere from 35 down to 18 and back up to 32 in the same short stretch.

After 1:24:12 it quit working altogether so I have no idea how far I went or how long. It started working again about two miles from the end of the ride. My closest estimate is 3 hours and around 50 miles. It was one of those rides where all else failed as well. At the risk of being blunt, my butt was sore from the first mile. Without getting too technical for you non-bikers, all I can say is the equipment placement was never quite right. The wind was strong and gusty from the east and south, the exact directions I spent 90% of my time going toward, so that didn’t help either.

So here’s a thought. When I dumped the bike at Madison, the CarboPro went all over me and the bike and my brain went haywire too. So do you think it wasn’t brain injury at all and CarboPro is the culprit? You may laugh, but I think it’s true. I’m also leaning toward the possibility that there really is a Shrek out there somewhere.

For those of you who have talked to Jean after her camp at Lake Placid, she had a great time, learned quite a few useful things, and was happy to have seen the bike course before her race. She called on the way back. Well, actually Becky called, but she and Jean both talked at the same time, so I got twice the stories in half the time. Anyway, she said she had won the “hammerhead award” at the camp. When I heard her tell the story later, she called it the “hammer award” so I’m not sure which one to have etched on our joint tombstone.

My run this morning had its ups and downs. I started out feeling comfortable. I was trying to keep my heart rate in the 2 to 3 zone so I sped up a little from my normal plodding. I went around 12 miles but the last two turned into a chore. Again, the cold had its way with me and I just ran out of gas. I kept the speed up but it was quite an effort.

Time to rest. I’ll stay out at the cottage tonight and Jean will probably stay here in town. When you’re in misery, sleeping alone is a good thing. Someone used all but a tiny bit of my Nyquil so it’s another trip to the store.

Sayonara,

Just (Feeling Like Crap) Jack