{"id":97,"date":"2005-11-23T12:03:00","date_gmt":"2005-11-23T17:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jackswriting.com\/?p=97"},"modified":"2007-04-25T12:11:39","modified_gmt":"2007-04-25T17:11:39","slug":"one-thing-before-thanksgiving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.jackswriting.com\/?p=97","title":{"rendered":"One Thing Before Thanksgiving"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00c2\u00a0I plan to fly home tomorrow (Thanksgiving Day) and will be there until Wednesday, November 30th. I planned to skip a week on the e-mails, but I couldn’t let this one pass (npi). This week I got an e-mail from Jon Anderson (as many of you did) with a title of “Try <\/strong>Colon<\/strong> Cleansing At Home!”<\/strong>. The e-mail goes on (npi) to say:<\/p>\n

A\u00c2\u00a0natural method<\/strong> for gently eliminating harmful wastes and toxins from your body. Did you know that the average person stores between 5 to 25 POUNDS<\/strong>\u00c2\u00a0 of waste accumulated over the years in their colon? Did you know that some health experts say that 90% of all sickness and diseases are related to an unclean colon?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Jon\u00c2\u00a0comments:<\/p>\n

Trilanders, I received this e-mail today and thought that this may be what many of us have been looking for! If I understand this right, we could naturally cleanse ourselves in the comfort of our own home and drop a quick 25 pounds!!!!<\/p>\n

I consider Jon a good friend, but I have to admit that some of his ideas may not be the best for all of us. Just to point out my experiences:<\/p>\n

Jon (Circa 1999) – “Let’s all do the Iceman. It’s a 25 mile mountain bike race from Kalkaska to Traverse City. It’s easy. You can do it!”<\/p>\n

My result – 1999. At mile 6 I went down in a sand pit and lost the lens to my glasses costing me money to replace them and wear sunglasses the rest of the weekend, even at night. At mile 20 I had to stop for a few minutes due to severe muscle cramps in both quads and both hamstrings.<\/p>\n

My result – 2000. At mile 20 I did an endo (mountain bike-speak for an end over end flip) resulting in a separated right shoulder earning me a trip to the ER.<\/p>\n

Jon (Circa 2000) – “We’ve all done short triathlons. Let’s do a half ironman (1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, 13.1 mile run). It’s easy. You can do it!”<\/p>\n

My result 2000. At mile 45 on the bike I had severe muscle cramps in both quads. On the run (it was a walk for me) I limped from mailbox to mailbox, stretching my quads so I could finish in\u00c2\u00a0under 8\u00c2\u00a0hours.<\/p>\n

Jon (Circa 2001) – “We’ve done a half ironman. Now let’s do a full ironman. It’s easy. You can do it!”<\/p>\n

My result 2001 – 7 weeks before the race, on a 100 mile training ride to Saugatuck, I fell on the bike resulting in a flake fracture to my hip and a 3 day stint in the hospital to remove a large hematoma.<\/p>\n

My result 2002 – At Ironman Florida I had muscle cramps in both quads at mile 56 on the bike. On the run (again, it was a walk) I ran 200 yards and walked 400 yards for the first 13.1 miles, and walked most of the second 13.1 miles ending in a time of 16 hours, 18 minutes and 1 second.<\/p>\n

My result 2003 – IRONMAN WISCONSIN<\/strong> You know the gory details so I’ll spare you.<\/p>\n

Admittedly the bad results are my own fault, but…I didn’t think of doing them on my own!<\/p>\n

You may have forgotten about my\u00c2\u00a0bout this last summer\u00c2\u00a0with Ulcerative Colitis. First of all, I don’t believe there’s a “gentle way” of eliminating wastes and toxins from your body. The preparation for a colonoscopy is anything but (npi) gentle and has to rank in the top 5 bad experiences of my life. And second of all, just look at me. After all of that (and I must admit…my colon was squeaky clean) I didn’t “drop a quick 25 pounds”. And thirdly, if the procedure eliminates “…waste accumulated over the years in their colon”, I don’t want to be anywhere nearby when some of that “old stuff” sees the light of day.<\/p>\n

I’m choosing to stay away from this one. Like the time Jon suggested taking a COLD<\/strong> shower after a hard workout to help the muscles recover, I’ll pretend that I’m doing it and, if asked, I’ll lie. I’d suggest many of you do the same.<\/p>\n

Just (Not Falling For This One) Jack<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00c2\u00a0I plan to fly home tomorrow (Thanksgiving Day) and will be there until Wednesday, November 30th. I planned to skip a week on the e-mails, but I couldn’t let this one pass (npi). This week I got an e-mail from Jon Anderson (as many of you did) with a title of “Try Colon Cleansing At […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-97","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weekly-email"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jackswriting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jackswriting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jackswriting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jackswriting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jackswriting.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=97"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.jackswriting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jackswriting.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=97"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jackswriting.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=97"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jackswriting.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=97"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}